I have a mental breakdown every year on a specific day.
It occurs after all the Facebook birthday greetings have ended and all the cake that no one ever eats dissipates back into the vastness in which it came.
My birthday will be in a few days, and I’ll be celebrating and enjoying the hell out of it just like most of us do. But those feelings are ephemeral. What’s not, is the fact that you just got one year older.
One year less to being able to achieve your potential. But also one year closer to doing so. A paradox that makes just as much sense as time itself — it’s here, but it’s not here.
This is the Every Year Life Crisis.
Getting older and still feeling like you haven’t done enough. And every year you get a friendly reminder in the form of a birthday greeting.
I get it partly because I set impossible standards and goals for myself.
Millionaire by age 20. Forbes 30 under 30 by 21. Dent the universe by 22. Win at life by 23. (I’m laughing hysterically as I type this).
With a little ignorance we think we can do anything.
I thank my younger 19 year old self for being ignorant. Those goals (however obnoxious or excessive) have ensured that I would perform at a level of competence that would get me to somewhere between “I want it and I got it”, even if I’m very far from “I got it”.
But life has a way of invariably humbling you, degenerating your goals into the things they truly are — “wants”, the type in which you could show off for validation and people would be like “Damn man you’re ambitious, you’re gonna go far in life.”
Anybody can want things.
Anybody can set goals.
But it’s not about validating yourself.
And most of the time it’s not even about the results…
It’s about your Why.
Your Why is your character. It is your mission. It is your purpose for wanting anything in the first place.
And it says more about who you are than the things that you want.
When your Why is strong enough, everything derived from it will be even stronger. This strength turns into reason, which then becomes belief.
Belief combined with excitement and action — now that’s what dents the universe.
My Why is the reason I have an Every Year Life Crisis.
I breakdown because I want to rebuild. To reform my existing beliefs into a Why that is stronger and much more refined, giving my purpose more clarity and my ability more efficiency.
Let’s be real, a breakdown is just you being the utmost real with yourself.
It is the closest you’ll ever get to being at peace, because at no other time will you see your realest and most vulnerable self.
It is in that moment that the biggest most monumental changes happen.
And just like the brightest star, sometimes you have to implode to explode.
So I think it’s time for us to have a toast.
Let’s have a toast for making it this far. We’re all incredible.
A toast for wanting to change. We’re all alive.
Lastly, let’s have a toast for the Every Year Life Crisis. We’re all real.