Memory; That Summer Is Saturated
[Trigger Warning: the content I created contains angst, suicide, and sadness. Please proceed with caution]
I was constantly disturbed by it; it was nauseating, and then I retaliated, creating chaos in its mind –a life no longer burning; he died.
I don’t think I can stay here anymore,
I want to going somewhere far away and die.
.
.
On that deserted street, beside the galloping train racing beyond your heartbeat; I witnessed in you the encroaching grasp of timidity. But, when I seek to grasp your hand, I find myself grasping empty air.
On that deserted street, you went so far away. Your words, they echo still. Even though I see your shadow again; it’s as if someone’s holding me back from running ... I don’t understand. But what I know is, wherever I am, you’re the only one who’s not here.
Meanwhile, it's still clear in my memory;
A chaos of it also occupied your thoughts.
On that deserted street again, amidst the raging fire, you suddenly took a knife. Using it to take your own life.
"Let’s end this. It is sufficient that only I am the one who dies."
Then you cut your neck. It felt like a scene from a movie.
And when I woke up, you weren’t anywhere. You’re the only one who’s not here. But what I know is; isn’t a sharp object more dangerous in unskilled hands?
I hate this world.
I hate reality.
I want to go back to that far place, to a place where no one was. Until I finally realized, that apparently, in the blackness of the moment we were together, on the run from all the chaos that was there; I felt alive.
But, the story of 'The Killer and the Worthless' is over.
Yet, you did nothing wrong, so that’s enough already.
That’s what you truly want to hear, right?ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ
A representation of That Summer is Saturated, as a portrayal of the main character’s innermost thoughts and feelings after being left for dead. The Indonesian version is here.
