Taro & Hanako Sittin’ in a Tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G…

THE PROBLEM

Maiden Name:

|ˈmeɪdn ˈˌneɪm| noun the surname that a married woman used from birth, prior to its being legally changed at marriage.

Married Name

|ˈmɛrid ˈˌneɪm|noun a surname that a woman takes from her husband when they marry and uses as her own surname.

When was a kid, I took issue with the concept of maiden name vs married name:

Before a woman marries a man, she has her own last name. Everyone knows her by that last name, but then she marries a guy. Guy has his own last name. The woman is then required to change her last name. Your honour, I have questions and concerns with this:
  • How does the woman notify her friends of the name change?
  • Does her father get angry?
  • Is that why fathers cry at weddings?
  • Is she cut off from her family after that?
  • Why does she have to change her name?
  • Is the woman now her husband’s PROPERTY?!?!? (I remember not being “down” with this at all. Sooooo uncool.)
  • What if her husband’s last name is complete and total pants? Pants |pæn(t)s| pl.noun Brit. informal rubbish; nonsense: he thought we were going to be absolute pants.
  • Continuation of above point: do women look for men with cool last names? Is my last name cool enough? Are girls going to ignore me because my last name is difficult to pronounce? Mommy, why did you marry daddy!? His last name is goofy! Wait, what is your maiden name, mommy?
  • What if the woman doesn’t want to change her last name? Will she go to jail!?!?
  • What if the guy likes the woman’s last name and wants to change his last name to hers? Is that okay? Does that make him the wife? Will they go to jail? Do they have to keep it secret from everyone? Does he have to stay at home?

Ah, the mind of a child.

Eventually, I landed on this thought: Forcing the woman/wife to change her last name IS NOT FAIR.

And I still think it is unfair and stupid. But saying something is unfair and stupid without providing a solution is a waste of time; thus, implies that I have a solution.

THE SOLUTION

The newly-weds ditch their respective last names and replace them with a new agreed-upon shared last name.

EXAMPLES

  1. Lyra and Hoa Starbright
  2. Jim and Mary Balls to the Wall #FullSpeedAheadCaptain
  3. Tyrone and Kevin Xxx_Don’t Mess_xXX

#ProblemSolved

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