Happy Birthday Dexter!
“Nobody can fully understand the meaning of love unless they’ve owned a dog. A dog can show you more honest affection with a flick of his tail than a man can gather through a lifetime of handshakes.” — Gene Hill
Today would have happened to be the 11th birthday of our late Labrador retriever Dexter, who left us for a heavenly abode almost 2 years ago. This week was tough as I remembered all the beautiful moments we shared together. Though Dexter came into the house the same year I left my parents to go abroad for my studies way back in 2012, I visited him every year. Even in this short span of time that I could spend with him on every home visit, he showed me a lot of things about life which I would have otherwise never be able to decipher. Of course at the time, being in my 20s, I couldn’t care less, but its only through a loss that one starts to ponder the blessings that one once had.
On Christmas eve of 2012, my Dad surprised us all with a puppy in a basket. An apt Christmas present for the family. Unfortunately Dexter came with an inherent infection which only got worse in the coming weeks. As a 3-month old pup he carried ticks from his breeding kennel and eventually, his whole Ear Nose Throat (ENT) tract was infected. He was injected steroids to keep him alive which meant his liver got affected as a kid. My sisters would stay awake overnight in shifts to make sure he slept well. No matter how much pain Dexter had, he would always make sure to come and sleep either on their lap or touch his bum on them as they sat on the floor next to his bed. It was probably his way to tell us that he was sick but we ought to be cheerful. He slept sticking his tongue out sometimes only for us to open his snout and put it back in. On doing so, he would flicker his ear lobes, the long droopy mass of skin, as an involuntary acceptance sign. Puppies have a way with children, they like to play around, jump over obstacles, keep running around with no real direction in mind. Dexter was no different. Because of such child-like activities and recklessness, it was our primary concern that he does not hurt himself. Evenings were the customary dressing, wound cleaning and injectable med procedures. Even though he was in a lot of pain with his wounds open, my dad (and the vet sometimes) working intricately to push Betadine through the flea/tick tracks underneath his skin, he would lay with serenity on the floor looking with hopeful eyes towards us, in a way saying that you only live once but if you do it right, once is enough.
Just like humans, dogs also have a system in place to communicate their feelings only if we are willing to listen. My parents were the focus of Dexter’s love, trust and faith. In 2014, when my Dad relocated to a different city due to his job at the time, Dexter followed suit. It was fun to see the way Dexter and Dad communicated. When he would come home, Dexter would wait at the house entrance and would hear the sound of his car from afar. Many a times it would so happen that my dad would come home late. Though Dexter would wait at the entrance, he would show that he is upset through tantrums, or bringing a stick in his mouth only for my dad to not be able to snatch that from him. He would give a friendly woof to him, making sure that he was not happy about my his office timings and late workings. When I would go to visit them in my vacations, Dex was happy to have me around. Often he would come and lay down partially on my lap and look at me with expectation that I share with him a story. He didn’t behave very different than a small kid looking up for a story before they go to sleep. I am sure if he had the ability to speak I would have to make sure there were enough characters in my fictional stories. He sensed that a suitcase being packed meant someone is going away. He would not eat properly that day or sleep well, one could sense the unrest in his eyes, the questions they posed and would not calm down if someone from the family would not explain who was going to him. Things got out of hand (in 2017) when my sister finally moved away from home for pursuing her masters. Dexter turned up sick that morning, throwing up any food that would be given to him. I think he sensed that my sister was gone for long and he would only see her a few times in the coming years. It was a heartbreak sight to witness, as my mom explained to me some months later.
Often in situations, it took Dexter some long drive in the car front seat to calm him down. He loved to be pampered. He knew he was the center of our universe and to his credit he made sure he was treated king-like. This street was not a one-way affair. Dexter loved us unconditionally even when he was not pampered, he had expressive eyes and he would move his brows sometimes even like a slight frown and say what he meant to us. Even at the last lap of his life, having been diagnosed with cancer, being in a lot of pain, through several chemo sessions, he would lay his bust on my Dad’s arms and keep looking at us on the general hospital ward, when painful IVs were being pushed through his veins. At this hour of struggle, he never let a wink away from me or my Dad who were there to witness this. I couldn’t stay at home till his last breath and that’s a regret I still carry in my heart. He passed away one cold January morning of 2022.
People say that dogs have a way of finding the people who need them, and filling an emptiness we didn’t ever know we had — and I completely agree with this. I never spent a long stretch of time with Dexter due to my work and studies but the few weeks that I spent with him spanning almost a decade made me a better person. He showed me the way to live life king size, to not flinch in the face of struggles or pain, to be thankful for what God Almighty has blessed us with, to love unconditionally, to forgive ourselves of the challenges we have had in our life or blame the people around you. He left us with a bucket full of memories, discs full of pictures and videos, a warmth in our hearts, a feeling of togetherness as a family, affection for the small things in life, fleeting happiness; and a stark realization of the expanse of our love and unconditional sacrifice.
That’s the legacy we live by today –me included. For the ones in our lives who had the privilege to see/interact with Dexter, I consider you fortunate because there can never be another him. I feel no different than any other dog lover who has ever loved and lost these beautiful beings. I am sure if you are one, you resonate with my frequency. For the ones in my life who couldn’t meet Dexter, I am sure I could share (through this article) with you a glimpse into what he was and you missed seeing Dex in action. He did fill the emptiness in my heart and taught me to love people, to be kind, to smile in the face of tribulation and much more. I read this somewhere that these creatures come into our lives to teach us a thing of two about love and leave us to teach us about loss. While a new dog can never replace an old dog, they can only expand our affection.
Happy Birthday Dexter. I know you are somewhere up in heaven.
Stay happy and blessed wherever you are.
We are all rooting for you from planet Earth.
