Check On Your Black Friends and Colleagues… We Are Not Ok
A letter to my colleagues…
Check on your black friends and colleagues. We are not okay.
For the last couple of days and weeks, members of the Black Thriver community and I have been asked how we’re feeling. It’s a tough question to answer, but I want to be fully transparent with all of you.
We’re hurt, disgusted, angry, scared, anxious, confused, exhausted, traumatized, and mentally drained. And the toughest part about all of this is that these feelings are essentially on repeat because racial injustice has always been a part of our lives.
I want to have an uncomfortable conversation with you this morning. For whatever reason, conversations about race make people in this country uncomfortable. But I believe the only way we can truly make progress in this area is by becoming comfortable having these uncomfortable conversations.
Racial injustice is not a new thing in this country. The killing of unarmed black men and women is not a new thing in this country. Privilege is also not a new thing in this country. But unfortunately, the color of your skin sometimes determines the privileges you are allowed in this country. As a child, many of you have played cops and robbers with your friends outside and were able to make it home just fine. Not Tamir Rice. Just like I’m sure a lot of you have gotten a traffic ticket in your life, but you were able to make it home after getting pulled over. Not Sandra Bland. It’s important to say these names:
Clifford Glover, Claude Reese, Randy Evans, Yvonne Smallwood, Amadou Diallo, Sean Bell, Oscar Grant, Trayvon Martin, Jordan Davis, Jonathan Ferrell, Aiyana Jones, Eric Garner, John Crawford, Mike Brown, Tamir Rice, Walter Scott, Freddie Gray, Trayvon Martin, Sandra Bland, Corey Jones, Alton Sterling, Philando Castile, Terrence Crutcher, Keith Scott, Jordan Edwards, Stephon Clark, Bothem Jean, Atatiana Jefferson, Ahmaud Arbery, Breonna Taylor, George Floyd.
These were all unarmed black men, women, and children who were killed doing things that most of us have done at some point in our lives. And this is why we’re not okay. As black people, we have to deal with the fact that our lives may be taken doing some of the same things that other Americans do every single day without fear.
We are not okay. I am not okay. Every morning at 6 a.m. I go for a run around my neighborhood. Before I leave the house, I’m faced with a decision that most people don’t have to consider:
Should I wear my hoodie or should I leave it at home?
I think: It’s colder in the morning, so I should probably wear one. But, on the other hand, what would my neighbors think if they saw a black guy running around this predominantly white neighborhood with a hoodie on? I stand in the mirror for a few more minutes weighing the decision. I ultimately decide to leave the hoodie at home. Now I’m fully dressed and ready to go exercise.
I go to my wife and tell her I’m going for a run. She kisses me and says, “I love you, but please be careful.”
We both know what that means. She’s not telling me to be careful because she’s afraid I’ll get injured while running. She’s telling me to be careful because she recognizes that, as a black man running around a predominantly white neighborhood, there is a chance that I may be killed and never make it back home.
It’s not even 6:30 a.m. in the morning and I’ve already had to think about my own mortality — twice.
This is why we’re not okay. As black people, we’ve become conditioned to deal with systemic racism and oppression. It’s been a part of our lives for so long that we’ve had to adjust how we live. Most of us go through things in this country that we never speak on — whether out of fear of judgement, retribution, or being accused of “playing the race card.”
I’m not telling you this because I want you to feel sorry for me, my fellow black Thrivers, or any of your black friends. I’m telling you this because I want to invite you into our world so that you all have a better understanding of what we go through everyday.
So again, check on your black friends and colleagues, because we are not okay.
Every day, we are forced to deal with a very stark reality in this country. That reality is that black lives don’t matter. When you see us post #BlackLivesMatter on social media, we aren’t trying to suggest that no one else’s life matters. We’re suggesting that other lives have been recognized, but ours still haven’t. We witness the killings of unarmed black people on camera all too often, but we have to wake up and act like everything is okay. We have to go to work with a smile on our face and spend 40+ hours a week acting like everything is okay.
We are not okay.
If you haven’t already, I encourage you to read “Maintaining Professionalism In The Age of Black Death Is….A Lot” by Shenequa Golding. It is an accurate depiction of the struggles we deal with mentally and emotionally as black employees.
While I think it’s important to talk about the problems, it’s equally as important to talk about solutions and what’s needed to move this conversation forward.
And our ask is simple: We need you. We need your voice. We need your support. We need your privilege. And we need you to become Allies while locking arms with us in solidarity. What you’re witnessing happen in this country right now is a by-product of the voiceless going unheard for so long. And what we need now, more than ever, is for those who have a voice and who recognize their privilege to really step up and use those things to help us fight and finally put an end to systemic racism and racial injustice.
— James
