Image for post
Image for post
an artistic rendition of what this recruiter thinks i am (photo by themastershakesignal on flickr)

Re: Making a Connection

For once, I reply to a recruiter

EDIT: The recruiter in question sent a reply, and their response can be seen at the bottom.

Re: Working with thought leaders

My friends and I are acquainted with plenty of thought leaders — and even more “thought leaders.” Thanks for offering to introduce us, though. I’ve been looking for a good thought leader to follow lately, and it’s just so hard to pick one.

Re: Not believing that something is “not my job”

For mental health reasons, I actually have to remind myself that some things are “not my job.” If I don’t, it’s easy for me to become overwhelmed as well as take responsibility for things I can’t or shouldn’t. Separation and delegation of tasks are actually key to team success.

Re: Disruption

Unless you tell me what you’re disrupting, all you’ve shown me is that you know a buzzword.

Re: Not using the words “it can’t be done” in a sentence

So, if there’s a requested feature that is literally impossible to do with current hardware, software, or within the terms of licenses we’ve agreed to, should I just say “okay?” Why don’t you want me to notify you of limitations and how to work with them?

Re: Working out problems over foosball games

I suck at foosball and, like many others, have trouble splitting my attention between active table games and conversation. Does that disqualify me from working for you?

Re: Your product

You are not in a “technology starved industry.” The purpose of your application, at least as displayed on your website, is unclear and unfocused. Sure you have a slick design, but without a stronger mission or focus and clearer marketing copy, your product will fail. Plus, your Google Play store description is an astounding 10 words long, which doesn’t exactly help either.

Re: Looking for a “Rock Star”

Have fun interviewing brogrammers.

Re: Your generic recruiting letter that looks like every other one I get

Since I don’t widely publish this email address, I’m guessing you pulled my email out of the package.json from one of the Node.js modules I published recently. It would have been nice if you actually told me that’s how you found it, but I’m pretty sure you didn’t have time since you were busy sending this to hundreds of other people with “very impressive” profiles.

Re: contacting me

Please don’t do it again.

Appendix: The Original Message

Note: In the interest of privacy, I have not included any identifiable information from the email for the recruiter, recruiting firm, and company I received this email from. I have also not included the job posting (which I referenced) because it was posted publicly online, and could easily be linked to my correspondent’s identity.

Appendix B: The reply

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GitHub Harrison-M | Freenode harrisonm | Board Game Arena halcyom

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