Your presence…is the best present!
I wasn’t always the dad that I am today. As a matter of fact I pretty much fucking sucked. Looking back at it now the fact that i was able to take care of my son at all baffles me….Even more it baffles me that people in my life allowed me to take care of my son.
It’s not that I didn’t love him. I’ve loved him since I first laid my eyes on him. From the minute he was born whisked out of the delivery room and into some place to help him start breathing. He was mine and being a dad is all I ever wanted to be.
The problem was that I didn’t love myself. I didn’t respect myself. I actually down right hated myself.
I struggled for years and years….Relapse after relapse. I’ll never do it again after I will never do it agains. I’d put some time in…sometimes a month or two sometimes six months and even ten months once.
I’d buy him whatever he wanted, I’d take him wherever he wanted to go, I’d spoil him the only way I knew how. With money….I figured that was what a real dad does. Give him what he wants and buy his love.
…..all the while never fucking loving myself.
This awful pattern went on for the first five years of his life. Repeating the viscous cycle until I accepted help.
I went to rehab. Did the 28 days and relapsed in 6 hours after getting out. (That’s another story)
Here’s the point.
When I got out and relapsed I lost it all. I lost my career, money, family, self respect, desire to live, but most of all….
I LOST MY SON
The series of event’s leading up to me getting him back. Fighting and clawing back to life and starting this whole comeback thing was triggered and birthed from losing him.
In order to get him back. That version of me had to die…and he did.
I’m now years sober and stronger than ever. A lot of things have changed (he’s still spoiled…as a matter of fact all 3 of my kids are ridiculously spoiled)
The most important change was this. I’m present…I love myself and I love them.
I show up everyday and let them know I’m here. I let phenixx wrestle with me, I let Bailey comb my bangs, I let Jade snuggle on me when I can tell she just needs someone to touch.
I go to work to be the king of my castle and lead my family the best way I know how….
Sober, present, strong and in control….
These are skills that I worked hard and long on just like you can, but it has to be your choice.
You can decide just like I did…If I can do it so can you!
If you would like my team to reach out to you please click the link below and setup a time to talk with us.
YOU, YOUR WIFE and YOUR KIDS need you!
Iamacomeback.com/apply