Recently, a quora member asked, “How do you cope when you’ve lost everything?” It is a difficult question and one many seek to answer in the course of life. Because this may be an issue for others, I’m sharing my #Quora response on Medium.
Everything. Everything could be either material things that you may buy and replace. Everything could also be people, which is the hardest loss from which to rebuild. Everything may include that which gives you a sense of self. Your question has a number of possible answers, but the most important one is that you have something left - you.
“When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one that has opened for us.” — Alexander Graham Bell
Life may be very unpredictable. And, life may also make demands that you may feel unprepared to manage. This is the frequently the case with losing what we value in life. To recover from loss, embrace what remains and then build upon it.
“The ultimate value of life depends upon awareness and the power of contemplation rather than upon mere survival.” —Aristotle
To determine what remains, it is a good idea to make an assessment of what you have, what you wish to achieve, and make plans for fulfilling your goals. Depending upon the nature of your loss, the amount of time spent on your assessment process will vary. I’m not sure there is a precise formula. So give yourself time to think and do.
If you find yourself focusing upon what is gone, it is fine. Processing the hurt and then accepting the loss is important for your recovery. But, don’t dwell upon it. Continuing to dwell upon the loss will deny you an opportunity to move forward.
“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.” - Albert Einstein
In your recovery process, you may need to reach outside yourself and ask for help. This is fine, too. But, be mindful about those from whom you seek help. You might need financial assistance to rebuild. You may need a support system of friends and family. Or, you may need to establish a new network. Whatever needs you may have, don’t underestimate the value of self. We are often more resourceful than we think. You may better appreciate your abilities by taking time to think.
Finally, you may increase your recovery success by celebrating the present while creating new memories. This may be learning new things, stepping beyond your comfort zone or volunteering to help others. Your recovery process will be simpler.
#startingover #losingeverything #coping #iamarliespeaks #recovery #inspiration