Live free, Die now
Continued from my last article titled Seeking Sozo, Finish Apollumi
This is a bold statement, but I’ve come to realize that as a believer in Christ, it is prideful to live life on your terms. It takes a level of arrogance and unbelief to walk in your own way and live for yourself. It is the starter pack for hardness of heart as it reveals that you have become callous and unresponsive to God’s leading.
God always leads in accordance with His will so when your life is being steered by you in the opposite direction, it is a declaration of independence. A mournful one at that. Of course, there is always time to course correct and no one is ever too far out of God’s will that they can’t turn back, however, veering off track remains a clear case of disobedience.
I know following God can be tough. It’s hardly a walk in the park. And you may be stuck in a confusing place where you’ll have to decide whether to choose your path or His. It gets worse because there’s no middle ground and life will compel you to choose. You’ll either go your way or “Yahweh” (couldn’t resist). You’ll either live for God or for you. You’ll join Team Dead to Self aka a Living Sacrifice or Team Alive to Self, that is dead, unbothered, and indifferent towards His will. So what will it be? Will you be a bondservant of Christ or a slave to your desires, feelings, and lusts?
As a friendly reminder, you should be informed that self never gets satisfied. The flesh doesn’t know when or how to STOP. It always craves more. Indulging it begets greater indulgence. Self knows no restraint. If you start off on a path of living for yourself, it will be an endless and pointless journey of self-gratification and while this is quite normal for an unbeliever — it is even their default and natural state — it is strange for a believer. Ideally, it shouldn’t be heard of. For we know that He died for us so that we may live for Him.
Living for Christ seems impossible to the unlearned and uninitiated. Their minds struggle to see the merit or profit in self-sacrifice and this is indicative of unbelief. They ask “How can I gain anything from ‘losing my life’ just to follow You? What’s in it for me? Do I just abandon my plans, dreams, ambitions and desires? Isn’t that slavery? Am I not smart or good enough to figure out my life and live it on my own terms? What will it profit me if I waste my whole life and gain nothing in return? What if I lose everything I’ve built so far, and for what? What if I lose it all? What if I trust you, and I end up in shame, and loss?”
While these questions may seem really genuine, they are the musings of a man in unbelief. A man who knows little about trust. Everyone needs a reason to trust another. Trust isn’t gifted to just anyone, but to those we have judged faithful. People of proven character. So the root issue isn’t the gravity of self-denial required and the fear of loss, the problem is that you’re judging Him as being unfaithful.
“What if I regret following you and I suffer huge losses” is just a cute way of saying “I don’t trust you to keep me.” And a cursory look at it will reveal that this is an understanding issue disguised as a trust issue. It simply means that you don’t know the character of the One suggesting that you deny yourself and follow Him. You don’t really know Him, hence, you don’t trust Him. It is either this or plain 'ol unbelief. And even unbelief is still rooted in the lack of knowledge or the presence of wrong knowledge.
You know this reminds me of the first case of human unbelief — when Adam ate the fruit of unbelief. The trained eye will recognize that second-guessing God’s will and leading is Temptation 101. We’ll find ourselves asking “Did God really say?” And soon we’ll become wise in our own eyes, choosing to eat from the Tree of Self-will, and forsaking God’s will for us, which is Life.
It never gets old. From Adam to Adamu, Eve to Evelyn, we’ll always be presented with only two choices. God’s way or ours. And the amusing thing is that we sometimes excuse our doubt and unbelief by labelling it as introspection or thinking things through. We tell ourselves that we’re pondering and questioning things and that we are allowed to think, reason, and ask questions. Isn’t that why we have brains? Or are we meant to just get up and follow God blindly?
Well, sorry to break it to you but the answer to that is YES. And that is because some things ought not to be debated. Just believed. There are things we believe first and then understand later. And speaking of questioning things, unfortunately, we don’t have the liberty of independent thought when it comes to the faith/doubt equation. We think we do, but in reality, we don’t. No thought is original - they stem from somewhere.
The arena called the mind has three main players, God, the Devil, and Man. Every thought is subject to one or two of these influences at a time. So, questioning God’s directive of self-denial and obedience isn’t mere contemplation. Don’t confuse it with your own thoughts. Be discerning and you’ll recognise that it is the voice of unbelief speaking to you. That Old Serpent. And if you listen to him long enough, the fruit of unbelief will appeal to you so much that you will take a bite from it. And once you take that first bite from that poisoned apple, not only will your spiritual senses become dull, you’ll begin to see God as the villain.
His voice will seem authoritarian and His instruction will appear cruel. Even His goodness will seem so distant and His character malevolent. This will inadvertently translate to more questions. “What kind of cruel God is this? Why would He want to hold me back? Why does He want to trap me? Why the unnecessary restraint? Life is easier without Him so why do I need to face all these challenges simply because I want to follow Him? Am I not better off eating this fruit of self-centredness? If I do, I’ll be wise. I’ll be like God — I’ll be a god to myself. Able to pick and choose. I would live life on my terms. What a breath of fresh air that would be. You mean that I get to do life alone, however I deem fit, without God breathing down on my neck?”
Like I said. A classical example of temptation. It’s the Man, the Garden and the Tree all over again. The Man, His mind, and His choices. Same old, same old. God asking man to choose His Life, man choosing the exact opposite, his life. God asking man to depend on Him as His Source, man choosing to depend on himself and seeking his own way. God offering man Life Eternal, man choosing life outside of God’s provision, which is really no life but death. Like in Eden, this fruit always seems so liberating. Self always promises freedom and unending enjoyment. But alas, there is a way that seems right to a man but the end thereof are the ways of death.
If you miss His life, you can’t miss death. And while death can mean different things, it is always defined by living life outside of God’s will, whether in the context of salvation or obedience. Such a life will be characterised by degeneration, decay, and ultimately, emptiness.
Choose life today. Die to self.
Live free, by dying now. 🤗
