How to Guard Against Socio-Cultural Hijacking
The relative world in which we live is full of cultural conditioning that can hijack you through a type of systems thinking — a way of thinking that keeps you in a loop and belonging to a certain belief system and set of behaviors created originally with that respective system. A sense of feeling “home” can be lost because the core of your authenticity and innocence is obscured.
In much of western culture, scarcity and fear have a stronger foothold. Unfortunately, this culture tends to value finding what’s wrong with something and overcoming it, being competitive, and condemning others for a personal gain. Commonly, I’ve seen blaming and pointing fingers as a tactic of deflecting personal responsibility, which is central to living the most inspired and empowered life.
Really, there is no right/wrong on an absolute level of reality. And if you’re pointing fingers, you can’t take empowered ownership of your life. Each person is 100% responsible for their side of the story, for their life. Otherwise, you can easily become a victim to your family, friends, ideas, or culture (if your President’s to blame).
The mind, operating on a relative level of reality, categorizes and makes value judgments in order to sort through and organize information. So naturally, the human brain tends to see things in a dualistic way in order to sense danger and protect itself.
However, if you get swept in a process of overly identifying with judgments, they can become self-directed and directed at others. You can begin to feel justified in your “blaming schema”.
Identifying with judgments can create a need to “fix” yourself or can push others to fix themselves, but inner conflict can’t create the necessary conditions for health in the body, not to mention joy. If the “It’s not my fault syndrome” persists, judgments from your own mind, others, and collective culture at large start to rule over your world. This is a deviation from your original natural state of wholeness.
Your core innocence is a part of you that knows wholeness. Basic innocence is the wisdom of spiritual actuality — of being connected to your natural state, the now, to Oneness, to an immediate sense of joy. It does not include “shoulds” and other judgments.
It’s connected to the seeds of inspiration, creative imagination, and true desire — untethered by the anchorings of petty judgments and molds of society. It’s typically lost at the ages of 5–6 because of cultural and parental conditioning, and many never find it again. It’s what we love about seeing and feeling present awareness so much — a connection to your playful buddha knowing of ever-present goodness (like dogs do so well).
The “fixing syndrome” says there’s always something to grow into and always some way to be better It results in feeling like you can “get there” if you do this one more thing. There’s always something else to do. Or there’s always something someone else can do better.
This self-made predicament makes contentment much harder to feel. And out of contentment arises joy, play, bliss, gratitude, all potentially diminishing in the face of the next “thing” you can attain or release. And it’s a way of giving your power away — when others’ behavior or your socio-cultural environment dictate how you feel. Another word is codependence.
Most judgments are based on a perceived level of pain or pleasure, challenge or support…
“If there’s pain or challenge, life is bad.”
“If there’s pleasure or support, life is good.”
If you continue to stack good/bad judgments onto experiences, people, and yourself, the innocence that connects you to an immediate level of joy tends to fade. It becomes harder to find a connection to the playfulness of the now. Unchecked, a type of inner dictator can reign and seek to become “better”, dodging/repressing “bad” feelings and forsaking personal responsibility and power.
Life is bitter-sweet. It’s full of both support and challenge. Whether you can turn the suffering of the bitter-sweetness to the enjoyment of the bitter-sweetness is the key point — embracing life as is; embracing life with an attitude that whatever comes your way is met with a choice — to suffer against it or find humor, play, and/or the other side of a perceived “dark” circumstance.
The antidote to your inner dictator is embracing the good-enough in you. You may think you are creating into something better, but that thing that’s “better” is really just judgment and will distort your sense of wholeness. Attaining perfection is actually abuse; There is no such thing as perfection relatively. Create into wholeness rather, since this is your soul’s true desire and doorway to reignite the flame of other genuine desires.
There’s actually nothing to fix. There’s no “bad” or “good”, really. There’s only the full spectrum of human emotional experience that we choose to learn from and be empowered by or remain split between our own judgments of right/wrong — dualistic thinking — and never feel complete (empowered).
Life has its own way of showing up. Underneath of any desire to change how life shows up is a desire for control. So trust is a huge part in this too. Trust what you do and don’t know. Know that you don’t always know. And what you don’t know, you don’t know. What people offer about how they view you can be worth its weight in gold if you let it be.
Check where you think you’re right in life; being right can be a huge blind spot. And those that offer a perspective on your blind spots, however much you perceive that as “bad” or “judgmental”, how does it serve you?
Through this awareness, you can resolve the paradox of opposites and black/white thinking. You can ask how this “bad thing” serves you and reduce the charge of negativity. You can ask how this “good thing” on a pedestal may not be so great.
Without a negative/positive charge, you’ll feel neutral and closer to the clarity of unity consciousness and personal power. Pain will no longer be a repulsion. The pursuit of pleasure doesn’t overtake you. Challenge and support can be embraced equally.
No longer do you need to necessarily label your experiences, which can create unnecessary karma. Your experiences are neutral (appreciated), and not charged, being repressed, and showing up later to be dealt with.
If you can hold the discipline (of catching your negative patterns) and hold boundaries (for not losing choice) — true self-care — you can keep yourself from spinning into a loop of disempowering value judgments, criticisms, ideas of perfection, and lopsided perceptions. You can relax more often and hold to a stronger center of self-sovereignty and healthy personal authority.
Being more connected to your innocence and a sense of playfulness in the moment will free up time, space, and energy for what calls to your heart. Personal evolution can be a process that is not forced but allowed. Trust your intuition of self-organizing.
Self-organization always leads to evolution.
Eventually, a sense of inner security and certainty will anchor in more strongly. Let your mindfulness, persistence, boundaries, and discipline carry your momentum.
As you become more present, clarity will sink in, which shows up more frequently when you’re actually doing the work to show up for yourself — to not see your past life as something to fix but something you can consciously choose to transform out of any perceived limitation.
You have a choice, always.
However much of your innocence has been lost, it can be reclaimed. Life is what you make it. Choose an opportunistic mindset or a limited mindset. Is life working with you or against you? This can be a reliable gauge for how effective your decisions are.
When innocence, playfulness, and joy is present, you know that you’ve arrived back home.
Above all, Kinan’s passion is activating human potential through areas of technology, health, and psychology. He strives to push human innovation to the limit and actively participate in the evolution of consciousness.
Kinan believes we can achieve this primarily in the ways we communicate intelligently, software being a backbone to global interconnectivity and the transformation of self-destructive behavior being the bridge to greater human connection and empowerment.