Making Friends with Fear & Death Can Set You Free

“Perhaps the deepest reason why we are afraid of death is because we do not know who we are.” — Sogyal Rinpoche — The Tibetan Book of Living & Dying

Your ability to greet death as a path to deeper understanding of yourself and your purpose in this world is your ability to greet life with utmost enthusiasm. Knowing yourself deeply matters. The time you spend getting to know yourself, your likes, dislikes, preferences, and innermost authentic feelings reminds you that nothing on the inner level is there to stay. And the outer world reflects this. An inner alignment can remind you to appreciate all that is present because even fear is impermanent. And death can be a friendly reminder of this truth, deepening connection and gratitude for all that is present now.

Change isnt aways easy. Change can be scary. Fear is part of life. What if…? What if…? What if…? But fear can operate through us and make it very hard to create. Truly, fear is the opposite of creation. It can stop you in your tracks and freeze your motion. Fear is a result of not living vivaciously connected to the present now of creating your life.

Fear may lay counsel to your inner emperor (heart center). Ideally, the emperor of the self is present, radiant and aligned with co-creation, directing you toward greater and greater expanses of truth, beauty, and love through deeper allowing/trusting. It is a place of unconditional inspiration and energetic empowerment unlike the forceful, rigid, and controlling defense mechanisms that can play out as a result of not consciously either allowing or creating time and space for your mind to unravel. Yet many of our inner emperors are tainted with fear. They are overcome with words. Light is swept up with too much logic and not enough allowance/acceptance/feeling.

If fear is not made friends with, it can wreak havoc on your inner emperor’s ability to provide direction and guidance—giving your authentic inner voice its proper position. You can start to feel like there’s no point to it all and lose inspiration, idealism, and hope—all of which give vital energy towards fulfilling your most cherished dreams.

Let’s think creatively. Really, this underlying fear is a call to action. It’s a tool showing you misalignment. Some say…

The quality of the questions we ask in life determines the quality of the life we live.

So let’s ask some quality questions. What is this fear (or shame, guilt, anger, etc.) asking? Where is it in your body? What does it feel like? Is there anything out of integrity? What can you anchor into its place and cultivate more of? By beginning to deeply listen to your fear and what it has to say, you can unravel, release, and let go of core wounds (we all have trauma) or blocks and deeply remember your wholeness. Then you may begin to see your original face.

This fear…it stems from lower frequency beliefs. These beliefs can keep you in a limited story of your life — that you must fit into the world instead of living deliberately aligned to living passionately and purposefully. And the lack of having tools for transforming limiting beliefs can be costly. You can head down some weird roads when fear is an enemy or when your emotions are misunderstood, reactive, and ungoverned.

When fear works against you, you can make decisions to run from it or avoid it. When fear works for you, you can play with it. You can reshape the experience you are having with life. This is consciousness work — how do you want to create your reality through design (intention) and action (will). You could go into the suffering of your life or just embrace its sweetness, shift, reorient, and realign to co-creation.

It’s co-creation because life has its own will and intention. Controlling comes in wishful thinking. How you shape with life is co-creation.

Realigning can even mean deciding to make friends with the reaper. You can relate to death as a beautiful reminder to live with your innermost integrity. No question can steer you back faster to a deeply fulfilling approach to life than…

If you die tomorrow, will you die fulfilled with the way you lived your life?

If the answer is no, what can you do differently? How might you be different in a way that evokes inspiration? What’s holding you from seeing that through now? What’s holding you from dropping the false, entering into the real, and seeing into your true nature (Kensho)? Ken (seeing), sho (nature, essence) is a Japanese term from the Zen tradition and is generally translated as “seeing one’s (true) nature,” that is, the Buddha-nature.

It’s said that the Buddha became enlightened on a Full Moon in Scorpio. Astrologically and archetypally, Scorpio relates to death, rebirth, and transformation (simply). The Buddha’s death was an ego death, indicating a complete loss of subjective self-identity and fundamental transformation of his psyche. Metaphorically, this death liberated him into wholeness and activated a great sense of purpose.

Making friends with death can remind you of the eternal now. Knowing that we will all die one day helps us to detach from a limited individual personality burdened with conflicting impulses and feelings. We may see that our time is limited and make shifts to create greater meaning.

To meditate and follow a path beyond one’s small self is to realize the importance of death. Death can be a part of gaining wisdom instead of being a scary final end.

One interpretation, other than orgasm, of la petit morte — the little death — the death of the small self (in French) — reminds us…

“Life is nothing but a continuing dance of birth and death, a dance of change. “ — Buddhist Sogyal Rinpoche’s The Tibetan Book of Living

What better death than the death of attachments to any soul cages that ultimately keep you from feeling greater freedom and living more radiantly connected to the present moment, joy, and conscious co-creation?


Above all, Kinan’s passion is activating human potential through areas of technology, health, and psychology. He strives to push human innovation to the limit and actively participate in the evolution of consciousness.

Kinan believes we can achieve this primarily in the ways we communicate intelligently, software being a back-bone to global interconnectivity and the transformation of self-destructive behavior being the bridge to greater human connection and empowerment.

You can follow his most recent software developments/projects at kswhyte.com and discover more about transformation and evolving consciousness at cosmicroots.co.