WHEN LIFE DOESN’T MAKE SENSE AS A CHRISTIAN
It was midweek, work was making me feel like I am balancing a tall tower of stacked plates which didn’t really help my anxiety. Things weren’t the best in life, working 12 hours a day had worn me out. I haven’t had time to relax in 2 months. All this had gradually culminated into my new regular — mentally frustrated, emotionally exhausted, and perpetually falling apart. In that moment I did something every other creature of the world must have done once at some point in their life if not every other day. I lifted my eyes towards haven to say, ‘What the hell dude! What have I done that I have to go through this? What can I do to not be in this situation ever again, EVER?’
Honestly, I was legit hoping for God to say a magic word like SHABAM! and for things to turn from tragic to magic. Instead, God pointed me to one of the most depressing books in the bible. The wisdom book of Eclissastics.
The book of Ecclesiastes is one of the three wisdom books of the bible(Proverbs and Job being the other two). Where Proverbs presents the world as fair — do good get good, do bad get bad. Ecclesiastes presents the world as slightly more complex than that. Look at Ecclesiastes 8.
The word meaningless there is the Hebrew word Hevel which means vapour. The context of the box renders the word Hevel as something that is unclear.
The author suggests we can’t always see a clear reason for why certain things happen to us, we can’t control everything, sometimes things go so south for no clear reason. Therefore trying to control life won’t help. Instead what you can do is keep an open hand — an open attitude to and enjoy the simple things in life, like a meal with a friend, admiring the sunset, your favourite food, and be happy.
I was doing my work to the best of my ability, in all faithfulness to God and my employer. Concluding, it is a part of life I closed my laptop and went out of my office building to get myself a cup of tea. I buy myself tea every day from this tea stall near my office. He makes decent tea but sometimes (like today) he forgets to add sugar to it. Weirdly enough though, I felt okay. My ears were packed with bustling traffic noise in the cramped street of a small city that has been my home for the past 3 months. And I was okay. Okay, with things happing to me with no clear reason. Okay, with things going in a whole different direction than what I wanted. Just as this sense of okay was settling into my heart. I heard a small voice in my heart — God is faithful, to take what is happing to you (by chance or by consequence) and use it for your good. SHABAM!