Mirrors

My mother once told me,

a broken friendship is like a broken mirror. You can repair that mirror as much as you want, but you will always see the cracks in between.

It’s been over 3 years since she’s said this to me and I still remember it like it was last week.

Have you ever scrolled back in your Facebook and see that you never replied to someone? Or you didn’t like or comment, or finally started noticing how many times a so and so messaged you trying to connect with you only to be given a pitiful “haha” or “nice”?

Perhaps I was too naive as a kid — but I did this subconciously — not just on social media but with people who genuinely would have liked to connect with me. And now that I’ve seen how many doors I metaphorically slammed, I’ve realized I’ve also dismissed a lot of opportunity for self-growth.

But I’m older now, and I’d hope you agree with me that it’s more difficult. There are simply too many ulterior motives, pressure, hierarchy and politics. I feel like I’ve missed an opportunity as a kid to really build something up besides the crappy legos that went to dust in my closet anyway. It’s one of those “I wish I made friends with that one person over there kind of thing”. Don’t get me wrong, the friends I have now I value infinitely. But there always is a what-if right?

And the thing I’ve always thought about words that fascinated me is how powerful it could be when you really need to hear something. Whether someone is happy, sad, or the in-between — I can leave an impression, etch a scar, provoke an emotion or an idea simply by carefully selecting a few choice words.

I could start a fight. I could end my job. I could start a relationship — yet…I know now that would still be different. We’re different people at different ages. Is that better or worse? I don’t know.

But I digress.

The reason I remembered this quote was I woke up this morning staring at the 2016 goals on my whiteboard thinking on what I should try and do today.

At the bottom of the list, scribbled in a hurry in cheaply made Daiso marker under self-improvement was a non-commital act of impulsive “new me” goal:

Repair broken friendships.

Yet, now that I’ve thought more about it, how many mirrors do we really all need?

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