It began to take something away from me

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I used to be an avid comment section reader. It gave me great delight to see a post with hundreds of comments stacked underneath. I am the person who would take the time to collapse each thread and read through every comment.

I would read the reply to that reply which originally replied to the post. I would find who tagged who to chime in. I would even like a comment or two if I agreed with something a commenter made.

But, I was never one to actually comment.

It was more entertaining for me to be an observer. I’m…

It really changed my life

Why I Began Journaling Daily: It Really Changed My Life
Why I Began Journaling Daily: It Really Changed My Life
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I began journaling daily during a time in my life where I lacked guidance and direction. I was in a space where I felt conflicted within myself and was desperate for clarity.

It all happened when I started a new job and after only two weeks of being there, I realized I made the biggest mistake by accepting it. The job turned out to be a pretty toxic work environment, but my pride wouldn’t allow me to quit because — well, it was a new job.

I feared to share the extent of how much I hated my new job…

The first step is admitting that I’m feeling anxious.

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During my time working for a software company as a data analyst, I remember sitting at my desk as I received an instant message from a team member asking a question about a client’s file. I was working on an audit at that moment. So, I kindly responded I would get to a good stopping point before looking into their question.

When I did, I hit the pause button on my audit and began digging into the question my team member asked about. …

And it’s likely not what you think.

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My husband and I have been married for a little over four years. And although we’re still considered babies in this game, I assure you we’ve both come to the conclusion thus far that marriage isn’t for the faint of heart. I guess you could say we started off with very little idea of what we were getting into. It’s possibly because we had our baby shortly after saying our vows, which made it even more of a challenge.

Yes! We’re that couple that got married shortly after getting pregnant with my son. And even though we were engaged and…

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The government decided the world has been quarantined long enough, and therefore lifted a few of the rules for social distancing. Restaurants have reopened. Beaches are open to the public. And therefore, people are feeling this is the start of returning back to some normalcy. Even for myself, my job has asked all employees to return to the office on June 1.

I’m not too excited about returning back to “the way things used to be”.

For me, the two and a half months we’ve spent confined to the safety of our homes has been the time off I needed…

How I manage late night anxiety.

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It’s 3 am. I am awakened to the tiny footsteps of my three-year-old son making a late-night run to use the restroom from his bedroom. I can hear him as he flushes the toilet, places the stepping stool by the sink and turns on the faucet to wash his hands. I give him a moment to dry his hands before I patiently wait to hear his footsteps tiptoeing back to his bedroom.

I check his monitor as he crawls back into bed, tossing and turning until he gets comfortable as he drifts back off to sleep.

But now, I’m wide…

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I was insecure about my dark skin complexion when I was a child. I didn’t feel wanted or accepted by society’s standards. Aside from my father, there weren’t too many people I saw walking around with chocolate skin tone that truly owned it and loved it. And for the few I did see, I often wondered if they felt the same way as I did. Unseen.

Silly little second grade me used to think if I stood in the sunlight just right I would appear lighter. I would smile to myself and say, “See, this part is light.” Except, as…

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We turn on the news and we see it everywhere. Black man killed by a white cop. White woman calls cops on a black man in a store. Police officers break into the wrong house killing a black woman.

I’m tired. I’m angry. I’m afraid.

We are again reading about another unarmed black man murdered at the hands of a white police officer for a nonviolent incident. An incident that did not warrant being pinned down. An incident that could have been further investigated. An incident that didn’t require the forcible action which led to murder.

How is this right…

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I used to be a people pleaser. And to be honest, some times I trickle back into my old habits where I find myself aiming to please. Whether it’s at work or within a new group of people, I do it so subconsciously.

But when I notice a shift in my mood, it then brings me to a halt and reminds me…I’m doing that thing again.

Smiling and nodding. Pretending to agree with what they're saying. Taking on favors when deep down I really didn’t want to. …

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COVID-19 has confined us to the safety of our homes due to social distancing. Businesses are closed, some jobs are now remote, and life has been a bit on standstill.

But, before the impacts of COVID-19, I lived a pretty busy life.

I’m a mother and wife. I work full-time. I handle most of the grocery shopping, cooking, cleaning, making sure the bills are paid, and a laundry list of other things. …

Rhonda James

I am a mother. I am a wife. I love writing about my journey, and life lessons I’ve learned along the way.

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