You’ll never feel the same after reading this — Good & Bad Perfectionism

Like most people, I always thought that I needed to be someone who could do everything just perfectly — not less or more — just perfect! This is where I made a huge mistake. I’m just a 22-year-old girl, but I have got a lot to share.

I have always been so critical of myself — not to mention that my exorbitant standards have helped me push harder — they made me who I am today. Anyway, they also gave me massive anxiety episodes and a long-term depression — I’m out of it now — thanks to the support from those who I love the most.

Achieving something better and greater everyday had always been my target; I had really low days but I’d still dress up and take on the day with all I had. That’s what we should all do, even on our worst days. That’s the spirit we need — no matter what.

Now, the idea of perfectionism — the root cause of all problems — a rather insurmountable challenge —we need to know about what it really is and how do we even fall into this trap?

Humans are very complex creatures. We wish the world to see us as someone with no flaws, but we’re humans and that’s why we are all flawed — and it’s a good thing. Even the moon has bad days during an eclipse, por favor — we’re merely humans. In the current phase of my life, I do not see myself as a perfectionist, but I had my fair share.

I can recall an incident when I was still in school and a bunch of people — including me — were working together on a project. It was a group project and it was unanimously decided that I’d be leading the group. We had planned to dye the sheets — giving them a rustic & old look with coffee — they bought a few samples — I was dissatisfied because it didn’t turn out as perfect as I had imagined it to be. We made a few modifications and truly aced it. Now, In this situation, we can observe two things — one, the changes were needed — second, perfectionism. I gave this example to clarify what comes under “good/ healthy perfectionism” and “bad/unhealthy perfectionism.” In this case, we saw a manifestation of good perfectionism. You need this to improve in life. You need it for grades and promotions. You need it to do better. But, the catch is — sometimes, we confuse our brains — we make bad perfectionism sound like good perfectionism. Striving for better results is one thing and striving for perfectionism is another. It’s just like botox — the more you get it — the lesser it seems to be — no offence to anyone — we all have complete right over our bodies and we do not need to justify anything we do with it. Having said that, there’s a question that just popped in my head — do we even know we are crossing the barrier when we switch from being healthy to unhealthy perfectionists? The truth is — most of us, don’t. That is why it becomes all the way more important to throw light on this whole process of being a perfectionist.

The first step in recognizing this behaviour is to ask yourself — Am I procrastinating or Is something stopping me from moving ahead? If the answer is a yes, then you’re probably around the red zone. I’ll explain to you the “how" factor. Suppose, you are an architect working on a new project, you think about how good it “can" be, but then at the same time you also think that it can be made even better and better and even way better — maybe, better than your damn imagination! — and you’re in the red zone. Now, you sit on the project, worrying about how you can never make it turn out the best of it — you procrastinate — you worry and you are in the loop now. Your idea of being a perfectionist has dragged you to a stage where it is not even letting you be an average. Frankly, this seems to be so prevalent these days that half of the people I run into, happen to tell me how they have been thinking about — that work, project, a new business or a startup — but in the fear of being judged, they never really start. The very thought of committing mistakes and not being a perfectionist frightens them.

By now, you must have extrapolated that the root cause of all of it is not perfectionism but the innate fear of committing mistakes. We are so hypnotized by the idea of being a perfectionist that we never really try new things. Thus, to kill the weed of perfection, we need to apply a narrow spectrum herbicide named — “ Make mistakes ”— apply it every day in the right amount and you’ll see positive results soon.

Hope this will help you.

Have a great day and don’t try to be overly perfect. Remember, the moon is flawed too — yet we are charmed by its mere sight. Things you deserve will come to you & people whom you love will definitely be yours even when you’re not perfect.

So, let’s be imperfect before we’re perfect.

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