Hmmm…how do I start this?
Alright let’s see, my name is Barnabas Osebhajimede Omoareloje Oyarero, most people call me Barney and my mom calls me Ose. I don’t think I’m quite better than I was when I first did one of these here but, I’m certainly older for sure……yikes.
This year feels like it came so fast to be honest, I had a lot of plans, for instance, I really really wanted to move to Lagos. I feel like every major creative who did or, currently does something special had to leave their home to go where things were actually happening. That’s why I wanted to go, Lagos is the real capital of Nigeria, it’s where everything happens, if you want to do Tech, Lagos, Music? Lagos, Film? Lagos, Dance? Lagos, 9–5? Lagos, become a preacher, Lagos, porn star? Also Lagos. See, the point is, Lagos has everything and that’s what me and that big little overpopulated island have in common, I want to DO EVERYTHING.
(P.S: I’m still looking for any good creative opportunities in Lagos, hopefully one with accommodation. It doesn’t have to be in Lagos sha but I would like it to be here)
Everything here might be a bit of an exaggeration though, like I’ve said before and as I say to all those who know me, I want to write, draw, paint, design and create. I want to make music and films professionally. For the longest I kept telling myself I wasn’t financially buoyant enough to do it at the level I wanted to, and my friends kept saying to just try and so, I did. A little over a year ago, I put out a little EP/ mixtape called “I want to be better”, it was rough around the edges but I was proud because, I produced 4/5 of the tracks as well as mixed them (even though it wasn’t great) myself. Stand up and clap for me, ha ha ha, thank you, you may sit once again.
Then, this year, I finally said f**k it, thanks to all my friends especially Gbenga and Kene, I decided to make my first short film. It was rather tough to be honest, a lot of imposter syndrome was going on in my head, I began to doubt if I even wanted to make films anymore but I got over it. I realized that no matter how I tried to turn off this passion of mine, I always thought about making films, it burned in me like the sudden urge of horniness you get at 3AM in the morning.
The next step was to actually figure out what to make within the bounds of my restraints which are, lack of funds, no real technical experience besides my obsession with film from an audience perspective, not many acting friends and the biggest one, the deep fear of making something really bad, when I’m known for being very opinionated and sometimes (ok a lot of times) loud about the things I like and hate in films. This fear of mine helped me later in the process but, let’s get back to coming up with a story to shoot.
I knew I didn’t have a lot of money, to be honest, all I had was my last salary, 40k, gotten from this production company I interned at so, I locked it in my savings account for like 6 months and I think there was about 5k there already, making everything 45k. I live in Abuja so, that’s the same thing as having no money at all as a creative. I had to think of something simple, with one or two actors and happening within a small and obtainable space then, doing it in a an interesting way…..or at least, away I found interesting.
I went through old drafts I had and even considered, shooting a scene from this film screenplay I wrote, in hopes of maybe making studios or a benefactor of some sorts, interested enough to fund the whole thing. The scene I had in mind needed way too much people so that was quickly scrapped and one night, I sat in front of the screen and wrote “Between Us”. It’s a short film about people doing people stuff (insane synopsis right? mind blown🧠🤯) and I hope, when I’m done editing and sharing, you might appreciate, like and maybe even love it.
After coming up with the script, I sent it to my friend, he said he liked it and then we began work on doing it. I have to use this opportunity to say my friends are so amazing, I really don’t deserve them because, bro actually helped me rent out equipment to shoot and, all I had to do now was to use the 45k I had to, rent a place and sort out the actors chow and maybe transport, which I was (barely) able to do. I eventually found a spot to shoot, texted literally everybody i knew in hopes that they’d act for me because the shoot date kept creeping in, we had to shoot on that day cause that was when my friend was available. It’s funny cause I really didn’t see anyone for the longest but suddenly my friend came through and through another friend, I found the complete cast, crazy right?
On the day of shooting, weirdest thing happened, the camera wasn’t available, I went into panic mode. I brought these people here and they’re just going to wait? I was scared and very frustrated, everything seemed to be going horribly until, they just started hanging out? I kid you not, these people who had never met before just happened to really roll well together and hung out for hours, I got them food and let them continue as I, occasionally sprinkled in a topic or two to keep the flow going, all praise to sky daddy because, it was a success! The End…..just kidding lol.
Remember how I said the fear of mine helped me later in the process? Okay so before the shoot, I made like five different shotlists (for those who don’t know, a shot list is basically a series of shots and camera angles you want for each scene on your film), each one I made involved me thinking of the craziest shots, then pondering on whether I wanted it to be cool or not. I watched like 4–5 films I really loved before the shoot to see just how they cut things, how they filmed it and what I was drawn too. On the day, after the camera was gotten, it turned out a lot of my bright ideas weren’t feasible with the shoot but, I always had a mental alternative from the different other ideas I wrote on paper and in my brain. Thanks to my amazing cinematographer and boss, Gbenga, we were able to make decent changes, I say decent because, they weren’t the intended ideas but, I think in the end they work too. That experience just made me realize the importance of planning and how, no matter how my neurodivergent brain tried to kill me, there’s always a solution or alternative if you sit down and really think.
Finishing the film arc, I must say, I’m proud I made it, I’m not calling it the best thing since sliced bread but, damn, I think it was a good experience for me, I worked with people I like, met new people and I can now at least say, I made a short film. I mean, it’s not out yet but I still made it, you know? That’s a pretty big win and I’m aiming to make two more next year, who knows? I might even work on bigger projects if I get the opportunity to do so. Also, I’d like to shoutout the two guys who came late and really helped us around setting up and finishing the shoot before dawn, you didn’t have to do that but you saved me a lot of stress. Shit, I don’t know if they’ll ever see this, now I’m just blabbing argh. P.S; I hope to release the short film next week and if I’m able to, I’ll post a link here and also share on my socials for all to see and hopefully not hate.
I now want to talk about the love my family and friends showed me this year. I’ll start off with one thing that made me really happy, getting a PS5, I can’t lie,I didn’t think I was ever getting one but my friend gifted it to me, can you imagine that? It’s insane! The game really helped me during mental dark times this year, I played a lot of games especially, the greatest game ever, red dead redemption.
I don’t want to mention your name but, you’ve always been a real one to me since day one, you’re not even just a friend anymore, you’re my family! I’ll always have your back and tell you if I don’t agree with anything you do, stay amazing!
Now for my folks, ever since I graduated in 2020, I’ve gotten nothing but the utmost level of love and support from them. I grew up with their love but now that I’m an adult, it feels like their love for me has increased ten folds. When I told my dad I made the short film, he was so impressed and excited to see it, he even offered to sponsor some stuff but I rejected cause Omo, I’ve taken a lot of Dad man’s money in my young life. The same goes for my Mom honestly, sometimes she just does things for me that I don’t even expect. It means a lot to me because they’re not billonaires or anything, they’re just really good parents and I hope, I in turn continue to try and make them proud. I often feel like a dissapointment considering everything they’ve done and how I haven’t exactly been the most successful, graduate to come out from anywhere. So, Daddy, Mommy, I love you very very much. I don’t know if I’ve written too much but I do know there’s a lot more I want to talk about which I can’t but still, I need to talk about my beautiful, beautiful siblings.
I’m a middle child (I’m lil bro and big bro all at once) and honestly, it’s very chaotic because, I can’t say I and my siblings exactly coexist perfectly but, I do know I love them very well and they’re so brilliant and funny, I love the fact that I’m related to them and I enjoy talking to them about random and weird things. My sister’s been trying to get me into the Korean space for years now and, my elder brother humiliates me at least twice a week on fifa, it ain’t easy for real.
Like I said, there’s a lot more I want to talk about like how I want to get a proper diagnosis of what’s wrong with me mentally you know? Like what makes me so sad and stationary all the time or, talk about the cool people I met this year through twitter and via this really cool collective known as the film rats club but, that’s going to take a lot of time. I’ll sum it up by just saying, even though this year didn’t quite do a lot for me in terms of finance and career growth, I do genuinely think it was a good year overall, it had really really high highs like the PS5 and for that, I’m truly grateful. Thank you for reading, I know I can be quite incoherent (with several typos)so I apologize. I really love you all and I will continue my never ending quest to be a better man and grow in every aspect of my life. Who knows? I just might make new films, music and even get popular, life has no real pattern, anything could happen. Thank you for reading once again and, have a great day!