NM— new me; new life

hi my dear diary; evetually i sat down to write down all my thoughts and feelings abouts new environment. i really had time to do this earlier but buuuut i just didn’t want to think about it cause i had to think all my futher actions forward & to overload my brain ha ha ha it sounds awkward. agree that it is a little bit strange for me to express my thoughts in english- i forgot it almost. but now i surrounded by new folks which really means that i have to fix my thinking skill to english one.

my life started with a couple of complexes about my appearance that i didnt want to take off my glassess. i thought that my eyes looked SO awful, small especially with my new lashes. i didnt write about it but i had REALLY EMOTIONALLY DEPRESSED CONDITION fot almost 3–4 days. these days i spent lying in my bed with melancholy face expression. i got it that my momma understood that something was wrong with me, but honestly it literally can’t be unseen looking at my face. why i was so exhausted by myself is because i couldn’t stop repeating that the lashes i did didn’t suit me. my face looked so unpleasing to ME: that lashes on small eyes making them more highlightened with their asian cut. those days i couldn’t control myself & ate so much trash! but because of it i understood that i had emotional hunger. it is when you don’t want to eat but carry on because of your mood fluctuatins. i really DID but maybe now too DO had that physical disorder.

those days are over & now im heading to new ME; new life. my roommates are boring anti-social dudes + the 4th girl is absent yet. i dunno will she come or live with us but we re only 3 in a big room. honestly i can’t feel comfortable in ma room cause their and my staff is unpacked or hidened in our wardrobe which deprive our room of feeling which is present in our homes. I HAVE TO MAKE CHANGES!!! if i don’t they wont pick their assess yo know it.

it is literally a little bit uncomfortable to express my thoughts in english as i didn’t use to think in that way. as my environment now is based on english speaking rules i have to obey & i will only benefit from re-arranging my mind to english as i want to strip my insecurity of speaking in english in front of others, you know takha that speaking part is one of your the weakest.

my plan is to get to know my roommates better; be good friends with them. okay? if you dont do it now it may lead to unpleasing outlines which are not necessary, right?

do NOT let others to know your weaknesses and top secret; keep your mouth shut!

be REALLY FRIENDLY with others & speak with that voice you adore, you know what im talking about.

be confident; dont let other to feel your insecurities and vulnerability.

ummmm, make a meal plan for the weekend; save money; don’t let temporal excitation to burst up and waste your money!!!! save cash for eyes enlarging plastic surgery.

don’t waste your time just walking around the campus looking for the next prey; don’t chase boys looking for they, they feel it.!

start reading the book about eating healthy; it is already downloaded.