Anxiety and Its Physical Side
It’s Mental Health Awareness Week, and I feel it’s time to share my health journey and the impact anxiety has had on me. Why? Well, for a few reasons: (1) opening up helps me understand who I am, forming a coping mechanism, and (2) if one person reads this and it helps them avoid the torture I’ve gone through, then it’s worth sharing my personal health story.
The Realisation of a Lifelong Battle
I’ve always been a worrier. Since childhood, my shyness and edginess were not just personality quirks but early signs of a deeper issue. It wasn’t until the weeks leading up to my 41st birthday in July 2023 that I truly understood the full impact of my anxiety — it felt like my personal disaster.
Anxiety for me was more than just nervousness; it was a constant state of overthinking, procrastination, imagining worst-case scenarios, and striving for perfection in everything. From health anxiety to social anxiety, every aspect of my life was overshadowed by this invisible enemy. My voice would become hoarse, I’d be tense with a lump in my throat, experience neck and jaw pain, and become irritable with people. I put constant pressure on myself in all walks of life and could never relax. My “to-do list” was never-ending, and I wouldn’t stop, even away from work.
The teeth grinding and need for a gum shield, along with visits to an ENT specialist 8 years ago, were signs of anxiety hitting me, but I didn’t realise it then. The fear of flying added to the signs. I thought I had it under control, but in reality, it was a constant battle, and my body had eventually tipped over the edge. I also believe that the COVID-19 pandemic further deteriorated my mental health, and I’m sure it’s affected a lot of people similarly.
Physical Symptoms: Torment
The turning point came with severe gastrointestinal issues in the summer of 2023. I experienced persistent bowel irritation, stomach cramps, and nausea — initial signs pointing towards Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS). This was my introduction to the gut-brain axis, the two-way biochemical signalling between the gastrointestinal tract and the central nervous system. I now know that when you are anxious, some of the hormones and chemicals released by your body enter your digestive tract, interfering with digestion.
I was convinced that something serious was wrong with me, and the situation worsened. Doctors didn’t know what was wrong with me, numerous tests for all sorts of illnesses, and referrals to hospital specialists, but I continued to deteriorate, with calls to my GP surgery pleading for help every few days. One GP said this could be General Anxiety Disorder, and that my nervous system was stuck in fight-or-flight mode. I couldn’t get my head around it, and nothing was rational in my brain. Tests continued to rule out other issues.
What I didn’t realise was that anxiety wasn’t just in my head; it was affecting my whole body, disrupting digestion, and altering the balance of serotonin — a key neurotransmitter produced in the gut that affects mood.
The physical toll was immense. I dealt with debilitating health issues: digestive problems, reflux, fatigue, breathlessness, loss of appetite, severe weight loss, and sleep disturbances. Some nights, I would get only two hours of sleep and continually wake up drenched in sweat. Three different sleeping tablets couldn’t fix the fact that I woke up constantly, and my body felt broken. My cortisol levels were consistently high.
I couldn’t cook for myself, was stuck in bed often, and unable to function. I couldn’t leave the house, missing out on family weddings, football games, and other gatherings.
Panic attacks hit me. I was waking my wife up during the night asking for an ambulance and then a visit to A&E with chest pains weeks later.
Hitting Rock Bottom
Rock bottom was both a curse and a turning point. My nervous system had gone out of control. After enduring countless tests and feeling constantly unwell, I realised that I needed to change. I was put on Sertraline and twice had the dose increased to try and turn a corner. I sought help from a mental health nurse, attended therapy, changed my diet, and started exercising in the hope of seeing improvements. My lifestyle had to change; I was prepared to do anything to feel better.
I began journaling and reading more, trying to occupy my mind and remove negative thoughts. The therapy sessions went on for months, using CBT and mindfulness approaches. My wife had suffered a stroke at 33 in November 2021, and the therapist felt that trauma had not been properly processed, as I was having flashbacks often. So, we worked on releasing a lot of thoughts and worries around health. My wife is strong and, despite her challenges with hemianopia, she is the rock that keeps our family together, continually showing extreme resilience. I’m so proud of her, and I’m sorry that I put her and my son through so much during my illness.
I’d never been signed off work before. It took a long time, nearly 5 months, of missing work.
Mindful Practices
Journaling became a crucial outlet for managing my anxiety. It allowed me to dissect my thoughts and behaviours, understand them better, and plan actions. Simple practices like gratitude journaling helped me appreciate things, shifting my focus from constant worry to positivity.
Diet and exercise exceeded physical well-being for me, evolving into essential tools for managing my mental health. I established a morning routine centred around a healthy breakfast, featuring foods like spinach omelettes, fresh berries, oats, nuts, seeds, and avocados. Hydration also became a key part of my routine. I limit myself to one coffee per day, preferring to wait a few hours after waking before firing up the Nespresso machine. Most days, I include Huel protein shakes in my diet and focus on consuming plenty of protein-rich foods. This mindful approach to eating has not only nourished my body but also helped me combat the food-related anxieties that have plagued me since childhood.
Recovering
Over time, I began to see improvements. It took a while, and I was impatient. I was no longer just surviving but continuing to show improvements. I embraced techniques like breathwork and setting small, achievable goals. I learned to be kinder to myself, to recognise the triggers, and to pre-emptively manage them through better sleep hygiene and mindfulness. Sleep is the pillar of health and was the last thing to improve. I was becoming stronger and had less fatigue. Eventually, I was able to drive again and look towards a phased return to work. Regular workouts at the gym provided me with dopamine boosts, helping re-centre my brain and improve my mood.
Understanding Anxiety
Mental health issues often stem from the brain’s attempt to protect us. My experiences with anxiety and Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) underscored this. OCD was a way for me to feel safe, exerting control in a world that seemed unpredictable and threatening. Anxiety is exhausting. I now know more about my triggers, and when the physical symptoms start, I know I need to find ways to relax and switch off my brain. The brain is a muscle and should be looked after. Everyone experiences anxiety, but it’s important not to let it take over your body. There are many links between mental and physical health that I wasn’t aware of.
What Helps Me
I built a Mental Health Toolkit and realised the importance of looking after my wellbeing. I’ve started to put myself first more often. There are several non-negotiables like eating healthily and going to the gym, doing a mix of swimming, strength, and cardio. This provides dopamine, energy, discipline, and motivation. I’ve developed new habits and created a new normal. Dopamine is a driver of neuroplasticity and helps change how our brain wires and fires.
I don’t watch the news, I avoid using social media much, and I try to remove any negativity or sad feelings. I’m now less emotional and can think straight.
Still, I have hard days marked by sleep issues, pins and needles, and neck and jaw pain — remnants of my ongoing battle. These symptoms are reminders that my journey isn’t linear. Recognising these signs early, writing things down, and exercising helps me manage better.
I work from the office more, and I’m more curious about people, asking more questions, and trying to be more mindful.
I plan things and look forward to holidays.
Sharing the Journey
Today, I openly talk about my struggles with anxiety in hopes of helping others. We need to remove the stigma around mental health. I’m on a journey from being overwhelmed by anxiety to managing it and building resilience. If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that we must listen to our bodies and minds and treat them with respect and care.
I’m so grateful for all the help I received from the NHS, my family, friends, and my workplace. Without that support, I don’t know where I would be.
I can now notice anxiety triggers and I’m working hard to manage them, as well as practising a healthy lifestyle. I have a better ability to adapt to the days when it hits me more. You can’t control everything in your life, but you can try to control your reaction.
Final Thoughts
My journey is a reminder that we all face our battles, but they don’t have to define us. I’m not ashamed — it is what it is. I’m just glad to be healthier and happier, back to work, and trying to make the most of life. I love the precious time I spend with my wife and son. Life is a gift, and I try to look for positives in everything.
What happened to me was my body telling me “no.” I’ve made changes, but the journey continues; I need to continually focus on my wellbeing, routines, and looking after myself.
If you read this far, then thank you. I hope that I’ve helped at least one person.
Life throws curveballs at everyone — job losses, illnesses, bereavements. We all experience these sorts of things in our lives. And then, there are day-to-day challenges, but it’s always about how we react and control our stress responses. By understanding our anxiety, respecting our limits, and embracing support, we can lead healthier, more fulfilling lives.
Always remember, it’s okay to ask for help. I wish I’d realised what was happening to me and acted before it got out of control. Don’t ignore signs from your body. Your health truly is your wealth.
Some references:
Journals:
https://www.mindjournals.com
https://greenlights.com/#journal
Stress and your gut:
https://www.symprove.com/blogs/gut-science/stress-and-your-gut-a-doctors-view
https://uk.huel.com/pages/how-does-stress-impact-your-gut-health
Instagram follows:
https://www.instagram.com/mindcharity
https://www.instagram.com/nasneuro
https://www.instagram.com/sadhguru/
https://www.instagram.com/annatheanxietycoach
https://www.instagram.com/Fightthroughmentalhealth
https://www.instagram.com/anxiety_fightermum
Other resources:
