Some guy just got busted for drunkenly riding a Bird scooter. What other ‘vehicles’ are illegal to operate while under the influence?

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Last month, a 28-year-old man became the first person to be charged for driving under the influence while operating a Bird scooter in L.A., which has almost certainly inspired fear among the hordes of shit-faced hipsters who regularly take to the streets on these super fun motorized death-machines.

While the man definitely deserved some sort of charge — he knocked a pedestrian to the ground and proceeded to scoot away to a nearby apartment complex during his drunken odyssey, which also resulted in him being handed one count of hit-and-run — the fact that it’s even possible to get a DUI while riding a Bird scooter is sure to shock many. …

All 10 ingredients in these throat soothers, explained (yep, even soy lecithin)

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We’re often told that you should never eat anything (or put anything on your body) if you don’t recognize everything on the ingredients list. But since most of us have no idea what xanthan gum or potassium benzoate are — or more importantly, what they’re doing to our bodies — we’re decoding the ingredients in the many things Americans put in (and on) themselves with the help of an expert.

This edition: Halls Cherry Menthol Cough Drops, which are made from 10 separate ingredients that we’ve broken down in the exact order they appear on their website.

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The Ingredients

1) Menthol: Sourced primarily from peppermint, menthol has been proven to suppress cough reflex sensitivity. This is the active ingredient in these cough drops. …

‘It wasn’t her. It couldn’t have been her. It was me.’

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Back in April, incels slithered into the public spotlight when it was suggested that the devastating Toronto van attack carried out by Alek Minassian was motivated by incel ideology. Short for “involuntary celibate,” incels are a predominantly online community of men who believe that they’ve been doomed to a life without sex, mostly blaming women for their own shortcomings.

But some incels have managed to escape the grip of inceldom, and this popular Reddit thread asking ex-incels what motivated them to change their ways provides an intriguing look at both what compels a man to become an incel, and what also drives them to leave its angry, women-hating ideology behind. …

Americano? Cappuccino? Irish Coffee? Which is least likely to blow up my heart?

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Coffee is my lifeblood, and I regularly consume it in every shape and form: Americano, macchiato, cappuccino, frappuccino—you name it, I drink it. But lately, I’ve been on yet another health kick, which means I’ve been forced to reassess my relationship with the holy brown beans that keep me going in this godforsaken world.

Because I can’t possibly ditch coffee altogether—my heart might actually stop beating if I were to do that—I asked Dana Hunnes, senior dietitian at the Ronald Reagan UCLA Medical Center, to help me rank every coffee drink by how healthy they are.

But first, here’s a quick explanation for our ranking: “In general, coffee is a healthy beverage (in moderate amounts of two to three cups per day) with antioxidants and potential diabetes-preventing effects,” Hunnes explains. “The [health] differences between the various coffee beverages comes from the type and amount of milk and sugar in them.” …

‘It feels a bit like super sexting’

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On August 17th, U.S. Patent No. 6,368,268 expired, and the sex-toy industry rejoiced.

The patent was originally filed in 1998, and gave the patent holder (TZU Technologies) the rights to any internet-controlled sex toys, more specifically known as teledildonics.

Now that the infamous “teledildonics patent” has come to a climax, sex-toy manufacturers are free to invent internet-controlled vibrators, dildos and fleshlights without either having to pay a hefty licensing fee to TZU Technologies or being sued, all of which means that we may soon be introduced to more (and better) teledildonics.

But let’s back up for a moment to explore how teledildonics actually work. “The direction that teledildonics are going in now [provides users with] the ability to sync sensations by using two toys that are connected,” says Carolyn Eagle of Betty’s Toy Box. “It has amazing possibilities, not only for long-distance relationships, but for the entire porn industry. Imagine being able to watch a performer on your computer and actually stimulate them with a sex toy—and they can do the same to you.” …

This story was inspired by the 23-inch dong doctors recently pulled from some dude’s asshole. You’re welcome.

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A few months ago, Italian doctors were forced to invent a lasso-like device to remove a 23-inch rubber dildo that was lodged deep inside a 31-year-old man. The patient told the medical staff that the monstrous sex toy “was not removable by hand” and had been stuck inside his rectum for 24 hours before he decided to visit the hospital.

Fortunately for him, the doctors succeeded in removing the gargantuan dong with their innovative tool, and he was able to return home that night without experiencing any lasting symptoms.

It probably goes without saying that I have many, many questions about this man and his colossal dildo, but more than anything else, I want to know why a sex toy would ever need to be this large — if there’s any real reason beyond a blatant love of excessive? …

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More and more of my friends have quit drinking hard liquor of late, instead drinking only beer and wine in an attempt to curb their alcohol intake. Their logic seems to be somewhat sound: Because liquor fucks you up harder/faster, they believe that drinking only beer and wine helps them better moderate how much alcohol they’re actually drinking, meaning they get less wasted on any given night out.

But is this really a viable way to cut down on your drinking? Aaron White, senior scientific advisor at the National Institute of Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism, has his doubts: “In 12-step programs, like Alcoholics Anonymous, people laugh about that, because it’s a common strategy that people use when they’re trying to get their drinking under control. …

Dudes on Reddit are surprisingly chill when they get the place to themselves

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If you believe in clichés, you might expect some men to hop directly on the coke-fueled party train to Stripper Town the moment their wives leave them alone for any significant period of time. But according to these responses from the recent, “What would you do if your wife was away for an entire weekend?” Reddit thread, guys are actually surprisingly tame when their wives are gone (sic, obviously, throughout):

This Guy Would Spend the Weekend Sulking

Commenter svenson_26 says that he would “eat food that she doesn’t like, watch movies that she doesn’t like and probably just mope around missing her all weekend.” …

All 23 ingredients in the best-worst thing about fall, explained (yep, even sulfiting agents)

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We’re often told that you should never eat anything (or put anything on your body) if you don’t recognize everything on the ingredients list. But since most of us have no idea what xanthan gum or potassium benzoate are — or more importantly, what they’re doing to our bodies — we’re decoding the ingredients in the many things Americans put in (and on) themselves with the help of an expert.

This edition: Starbucks Pumpkin Spice Latte, which is made from 23 separate ingredients that we’ve broken down in the exact order they appear on their website.

But before diving into the ingredients, let’s quickly address the question we’re all asking: What the hell is pumpkin spice, anyway? In truth, there’s no one recipe for pumpkin spice: Many iterations, including the pumpkin spice found in this latte, consist of cinnamon, nutmeg, ginger and cloves (allspice also makes an appearance in some recipes, but Starbucks doesn’t appear to include it). But as food scientist Kantha Shelke explains in the video embedded below, some pumpkin spice mixtures can be made up of more than 300 flavor…

Redditors explain why they stormed out the door after only a short stint on the job

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Fun fact: I once quit a job only three weeks after being hired. Admittedly, my reasoning for making such a swift departure was simply that another (better) opportunity popped up—a pretty dull tale, compared to what follows.

So what exactly follows?

Some of the most compelling stories from the recent “What’s the fastest you’ve quit a job? What was the reason?” Reddit thread (sic, obviously, throughout):

This Commenter Who Couldn’t Handle the Heat

Commenter Toastwaver recounts their one-day stretch at a job that turned out to be much more difficult than expected:

“In high school, my buddy and I decided that we would spend the summer working as laborers on a farm. We showed up at a small local farm (central MA) and applied with the owner. The job involved planting seeds, or saplings, every three feet or so and moving along the row on my hands and knees, and basically crawling and planting little saplings all day. …

About

Ian Lecklitner

Staff Writer at MEL Magazine.

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