Interesting Things I Found on Mt. Victoria
If you’re a Hufflepuff, you’re good at finding things. That was for you Harry Potter fans, and I really don’t have anywhere else to go with that, but you’re welcome! Anyways, Mt. Victoria is a really cool place, and I’ve briefly touched on it in an older blog of ‘10 Things to do in Wellington, NZ for Free’ which you can checkout here. Mt. Victoria is a great place to get away and surround yourself with nature. However, earlier this week, I went hiking up Mt. Victoria, and started finding some interesting things that were obviously left behind by man. I decided to turn it into a scavenger hunt for myself, and took pics of all the interesting things that I could find. In this list I went for only man made objects that I found interesting. This means I excluded things like trails, roads, benches, maps that say “You are here”, signs that tell you where to go, and so on.
- These Black Socks
Why would somebody leave socks out in the middle of a mountain? I’m going to guess duty called, and let’s face it, you have to wipe with something.
2. This Blue Sweatband
Because trees sweat too… maybe.
3. This Brown Bandanna
Okay, story time.
So, when I was in high school, my brother was telling me about a “good way” to get a boyfriend. He said that all the gay guys in Lawrence, KS (where he was living at the current time) wore bandanna’s in their back pockets. He told me it was a great way for them to know who was gay, and he would see gay guys meeting on the street all the time, and hooking up. I, being a horny 16 year-old at the time, thought, “Cool, I’ll try it out.” I already owned two bandanna’s so I clearly, there was no point in buying any other ones of any other colors because why the hell would that matter, right? If you know about the ‘Gay Handkerchief Code’ then you’re already sad for me. If you don’t, look it up, it’s a legit thing, because why wouldn’t gay guys make something more complicated than it needs to be, right? Apparently, each color has a different meaning for what you enjoy sexually. What colors did I have, you may be wondering? Red and yellow. Red means fisting, yellow means piss play. However, which side you wear these bandanna’s on also has a meaning! I used to keep my wallet in my back right pocket, so I would keep my bandanna’s in my back left pocket. Right means you’re submissive/want whatever that color means to happen to you. Left means you’re dominant/want to do whatever that color means to someone else. So, basically, I was telling gay guys everywhere, “Come here so I can fist you, and then pee all over you!” Who wouldn’t come running to that? I don’t wear bandanna’s in my pockets anymore for obvious reasons, and I’ll just stick to Saturday nights that don’t include anyone else. Just me and my ice cream, because who needs real love?
Anyways, that’s my story on that. The tree has a brown bandanna, and brown means scat. Ooh! Conspiracy theory! The guy who had the socks was gay and into scat as well, so he and the tree hooked up, did their thing, and then he wiped his ass with his socks and left his socks behind! It all adds up!
4. This Graveyard
JK. I found this on Google, not Mt. Victoria.
4. (Four real. Get it? :D) This Building
I don’t know what it’s used for, but it was next to a soccer field, so I’m not too creeped out by it.
5. This Glass Bottle
6. This Other Glass Bottle
7. And This Glass Bottle As Well…
Victoria, girl, we need to talk, because you have a drinking problem. You thought this was a blog post, but no, this is a fucking intervention! You need help, and we’re here to support you, because we love you (kind of). And after you beat this, which I know you can, we can celebrate by grabbing a cold one. Well, not you, but you can watch me as I have fun.
8. This Tree Stump Encouraging You To Kill
Either that, or it’s telling us that his death was not an accident, but I’d rather have a reason to murder.
JUDGE: Why did you kill all those people?
ME: A tree stump told me to.
JUDGE: Sounds legit. You’re free to go!
9. This Poorly Drawn Moth/Butterfly
Dear God, I hope this was done by a 5 year-old.
10. This Star
Conspiracy theory! What if the guy who cut this star into this stump was the same guy who killed the other tree stump that had ‘MURDER’ on it, and this is his mark to show that he’s been there? Like he’s a tree serial killer! Man, I am deep.
11. This Swiss Army Knife
I believe in that saying, “Leave only footprints, take only pictures.” However, whoever left this thing lying around clearly didn’t believe in that saying, so why should I? I was going to feel bad about taking it, but somebody left it in a tree, on a mountain (which is really more like a giant hill, honestly), and this awesome gadget was starting to rust. My thought is, they weren’t going to find it anytime soon, so I rescued it. #savealife
12. This Thing
I don’t know what it is…
13. This Wild Bean Coffee Cup
You probably can’t read it, but it says ‘WILD BEAN’ on it, as if that’s something to be proud about.
This is Mt. Victoria.
She doesn’t always drink alcohol. Sometimes she drinks cheap coffee from a petrol station (that’s gas station in American).
Mt. Victoria is smart-ish.
Be like Mt. Victoria.
*****
Okay, there you go guys! I hope you enjoyed this list. I’m just intrigued now, what were some interesting things you found the last time you went hiking? If you want, let me know! Thanks!
Also, a shout out to my friend Victoria! I’m not gonna lie, that Harry Potter reference was for her, and though she does not have a drinking problem, I’m sure she has a lot of other problems. And you can check out her latest blog post here where she takes an interesting look on Shakespeare’s ‘Othello’ from a feminists point of view.
