Let’s Talk About the New Zealand Flag

If you’re from New Zealand or Australia, you know which flag is which. If you’re from somewhere else, you may have an idea which flag is which. And if you’re from the U.S. you probably had to Google the New Zealand flag and then were shocked to find out that New Zealand isn’t located somewhere in Europe.

Although the flags look similar now, that may not always be the case. The New Zealand Government has decided that the New Zealand flag is one of the most important issues they can deal with at this moment in time. They have asked for new flag designs from the people, who responded with numerous potential flag ideas. These submissions included the following:

“Fire the Lazar!”

I’m not gonna lie, I would vote for this. Nothing says New Zealand like a silver fern and its national bird, the kiwi, shooting a green laser out of it’s eyes.

“Happy Kiwi”

It’s almost like he’s staring into your soul, isn’t it?

“Nyan Kiwi”

It’s kind of like watching an old person fall down. Fun to look at, and simply majestic.

(My apologies for each of those flags being a different size. I’m sure there’s a way to fix that, but it’s not happening today.)

Anyways, I wish I knew these 3 fine designers so I could give each of them a firm handshake, or a nice hongi, or even a lingering Channing Tatum dick graze.

Unfortunately, none of those flags made it into the final 4. I have seen two of the four flags flying around here in Wellington, and even though they look okay, they also looked exactly the same! How could two of the final four flags be the same? Because they were both designed by the same person! Number one, someone getting multiple designs to qualify in the final four, not very fair. Number two, if someone is allowed to have more than one design in the final four, at least have his second design look nothing like his first design. I mean, seriously, what is this? A John Mayer album? ‘Cause I don’t think so.

These were the flags that made it to the final four, and as you probably guessed, the two on the right are the ones I’m referring to. He literally just changed the red to black and that was it.

So which flag was the winner out of these four?

Silver Fern (Black, White, and Blue)

A postal referendum is being held in the next few weeks to decide if New Zealander’s would like to stick with the flag they have now, or if they want to change it to this newer version. However, I have talked to quite a few locals, and all of them have said the exact same thing. “The system was flawed, this whole thing is stupid, and I’m voting for the old flag back.” That’s not an exact quote, but that’s pretty damn close. Although this has been the result of everyone I’ve personally talked to, keep in mind that that isn’t everyone’s thoughts, so we’ll just have to see after everyone has voted.

I would also like to point out at this moment in time that ‘referendum’ is a new word for me. I know, how the hell did he not know that word? Well, that’s because American schools suck, especially if you’re from Kansas. Thanks, Brownback! (That’s a special joke just for the Kansan’s, because our government is funny too).

So, this is everything that is going on as far as I’m aware of. If you’re doing a report over this subject, definitely don’t use this post. I’m a foreigner just telling my views as I’ve observed them in my short time here in New Zealand, and as far as I know, Mr. Kiwi-Laser-Eyes could actually be the flag that is getting voted on…. That’s a big lie. It is definitely the Silver Fern (Black, White, and Blue).

Alright guys, I hope you learned something, even if that something was that New Zealand is not somewhere in Europe. And hopefully it was correct. I mean, seriously, I’m a foreigner, what the hell do I know?