Things I Didn’t Know About Kiwi Birds

Coming to New Zealand, one of the biggest things that I could not wait to see were kiwi birds. However, there are a couple of things about kiwi birds that I didn’t know that maybe you did or did not know. So feel free to look upon me as if I’m an idiot for not knowing, or let me enlighten you on the things that I have been enlightened on, on the subject of the kiwi bird. (If that made any sense at all, it’s early morning here, and I’m tired).

So, first off, these birds are far and few between. Was I expecting these guys to be everywhere like squirrels in the U.S.? No! Was I expecting to be able to go out and see at least one wondering in the hills and nesting every time I went out? I’m not gonna lie, a little bit, yes, very much so. However, of course, this being the national bird, it was going to be rare to see. I should have seen this coming since it’s the same way with the American bald eagle.

This also raises the question to me: Are all national birds rare, native birds to that specific country. (God, I feel like my wording is off today, sorry if your lost, let’s move on).

Secondly, does this kiwi bird look cute to you? If your answer is no, then you’re clearly blind, and I don’t know how you’re even reading this, because that fucker is adorable! He can be my T-Rex any day! Oh, that’s a pick up line right there. “Hey, girl, you can be my T-Rex any day.” Actually, I don’t even know what that means, but I’m gonna guess a lot of mouth action because their arms are so short.

Anyways, Mr. Millon fooled me with this picture of a seemingly very cute bird. Do you know what these things actually look like? Uh, like a rejected Muppet idea! I bet at one point the Muppet creators were like, “Hey, let’s be cultural to New Zealand, and create a kiwi Muppet,” and once they did they were like, “LOL, never mind. Let’s burn this shit, and pretend like it never happened.”

Actually, do you know what needs to happen? The Pokemon creators need to come up with a kiwi bird Pokemon. Or better yet, they need to have a kiwi fruit Pokemon that evolves into a kiwi bird Pokemon. Pokemon creators, if you’re reading this (which you probably aren’t) write this shit down!

Finally, these things are nocturnal! I could have researched that online, but I was too busy looking at pictures that lie to me about what time they move around. I mean seriously, you can see this things shadow! Does that scream night to you, because it doesn’t to me!?

So this has been my fun, little rant about kiwi birds, and I hope you guys learned something from it even if what you learned is that I’m an idiot, I still helped you learn something so really, I can’t be that stupid, can I?

To kiwi birds everywhere, I hope you’re not offended, I still like you even though you’re nocturnal and look weird.

And finally, photos are thanks to Google and Sebastien Millon, whoever that is. Thank you!