Software engineering is really hard. I am elated when my code runs and an application like nderground is live. But there are other times when I have to fix yet another bug when it is not so wonderful. For significant applications it can take months of design and development before there are signs of life. If you don’t love writing software the work can grind you down.
Software development is also a tough field as you get older. Age discrimination is even worse for women.
There are many paths in life. Success usually requires a passion for your work. I think you are wise to try to be true to yourself.