Its been a while, hasn’t it? Do you remember me? Or did I get washed away from your memories the same way you could never remember those darned mathematical formulas? Do you still dream of me? Have you found someone new to dream with? Maybe you did, maybe, and I hope, you didn’t.
Its tragic how so many chapters of our book have gone unwritten. Maybe it was always meant to end as a tragedy? In this day and age, maybe that’s not so surprising. What is surprising, is that our love was of olden times.
How we had explored every inch of one another, yet never needed to touch. How our dates were meant for talking, holding hands, gazing into each others eyes; not for check-ins and selfies. Do you remember we were called the perfect pair? So different and yet a perfect fit? A fairytale? Maybe this era was not for us.
Standing on the other side of the road, just to get a glimpse of each other; revving up the engine and blinking the headlights of your car, a signal only we understood, to let me know you were here. They say forbidden love is the only kind worth fighting for, they’re right. Maybe that’s why this happened, maybe while fighting with others, we started fighting amongst ourselves.
Do you remember how we hated endearments? Yet never called each other by our names, somehow we always knew when one of us had something to say to the other. We just knew. Wasn’t it funny? Maybe that’s why the silence is so loud, so deafening, because now we don’t know anything. Its so unlike our usual serene silences. Maybe because I can’t hear you breathing, or your heart beating this time.
It may have just been barely two months for the modern day calendar. But since when have calendars ever been accurate in the matters of the human heart? For all I know its been decades. Time flows differently for all of us, does it not? Maybe that’s why the two years and four months of our togetherness seem longer than this year and four months of our separation. Maybe that’s why these two months of separation don’t seem as long as the occasional conversations when you let your guard down.
Do you ever recall? That long ago, we would walk around, hand in hand? When you’d sing to me in your voice that only I found musical? Its ridiculous how we danced, when both of us possess two left feet. Do you remember how you’d look at me when you drove, how you’d hold my hand? I’d scream at you because I hated your habit of driving with one hand, I was scared you’d turn us into pretzels. But you always said you’d rather trash your beloved car than let any harm come to me. Maybe that didn’t include the aches of the heart, huh?
Maybe we met at the wrong time. Maybe I reacted too much. Maybe you got tired of the arguments. But maybe all those love stories are true. Maybe, just maybe, lovers do end up together at the end. Maybe, it’ll all be okay. But if it doesn’t, just know I’m happy for you, and that its okay. Know, that I know, that you didn’t want things to end this way, I know how the circumstances were. Know that you will always be in my heart, and that I know I’ll always be in yours. Maybe, that’s where our story ends. Maybe that’s enough. Years from now, I hope my name brings a smile to your face. Maybe, just maybe, I’ll be there to see it. Maybe, I can always join out names together like this…
(dibuat dalam keadaan sadar dan nggak sedang patah hati)
