Have you any idea how easy it is to get drugs these days?
Becoming sober in the olden days must have been so much easier. Sure, you could get booze on every street corner and fags were easy to come by. Now before you jump on me and call me a homophobic shitbag remember I am from the scissored isle of Britannia where a fag is slang for a cigarette.
Now we have that lesson out of the way I wanted to examine just how easy it is to get drugs in this day and age.
Booze we’ve already covered so lets move onto the harder stuff. Back in the dim and distant part if you wanted to score drugs you called your dealer. If it was before 4pm you were shit out of luck because chances are they were sleeping off the excesses of the night before. If it was after 4pm you might be lucky to have got hold of them but who knows when they would have showed up with the goods.
I was lucky enough at one point to be a trusted member of a citywide ring of highly organised dealers. You used to call a pager number, input your customer code, mine was 2924 and within the hour a man (it was always a man) would turn up at your door carrying a briefcase. Inside the briefcase was a selection of the highest quality narcotics you could imagine. It was wonderful. He had one of those “hunker dunker” machines that would swipe your credit card on a tri-ply carbon receipt and your order was complete. One day that pager stopped working and I was back into the murky past of having to call the various people in my phone book listed with only first names and waiting impatiently for them to pick up.
Then you’d drive all the way over to their place and hope that they were still awake or hadn’t smoked a bit too much brown and fallen into a opiate induced slumber. But hey, it didn’t matter, they’d come through eventually and you’d get your candy for your weekend festivities. Life was good.
Fast forward to the year 2019 and I can walk into a shop in California that look more like Apple Stores than a dealer’s living room. This makes avoidance a lot harder than just deleting “Del Dealer” from your flip phone.

What about the harder stuff? I’ve been fortunate to possess some degree of self awareness to know that venturing into stuff like meth and heroin was a bridge I could not cross but had always considered my DOCs to be relatively safe. I had heard about the darkweb before and consider myself a borderline expert in technology so decided to investigate how easy it would be to buy high quality yaya from the dark web.
It took me approximately two hours to setup a system that was operationally secure and granted me access to a cornucopia of illegal things from cocaine to credit card numbers and placed my first order. I fully expected to get scammed but these sites have escrow systems in place to protect from that and sure enough 2–3 days after my order was accepted a package popped through my mailbox containing the best cocaine I had consumed since the mid 1990s.
I can say this is where my cocaine addiction took to a whole new level. The stuff was cheap ($50–60 a gram), strong and according to my test kits mostly unadulterated. There was even a vendor on there that would was their supply with acetone 5–6 times and then once in chloroform to ensure the highest level of purity. They tinted the cocaine pink to differentiate it from other vendors and this shit was, as the kids say today, fucking fire.
My OpSec was pretty bulletproof, I used various mechanisms to ensure that the packages never received undue attention from the postal service and enjoyed this service for a good two to three years, in fact my last hurrah weekend was a dirty great ball of cocaine from this vendor and I would like to thank them for their superb service.
Alas, I will no longer be using this service. The computers I used to do this no longer exist, the offline cryptocurrency wallet has been shredded and I have deleted all traces of the mechanisms used to achieve mail order drugs.
In an ideal world, all drugs would be legal and the world would treat it like the public health problem that it is. But we don’t live in that world and that makes me sad.
And now it is time for my morning coffee, my now favourite drug of choice.
