If You’re Ready for a Mentor — How Do You Choose One?
In my last blog, we looked at — Five things that tell you you’re ready for some coaching or mentoring.
So, having come to the conclusion you are ready:- What next? How do you go about deciding on the ‘who’?
Here are few things to take into consideration:
1. Reflect on the past.
Think about the people who have impacted your life. Who were they? How did you connect with them? What did they do that impacted you? How did they impact you?
Make a timeline of these people and list how they affected your life. If possible, contact each one personally and share how their investment in helped and changed you. This will help you affirm how important having someone coach or mentor you is.
2. Decide what you need.
It is important to decide what you need is it just a general I need some help to kick on or is it something very specific.
There are different types of mentors:
- The Teacher — this type of mentor will be able to help you grasp knowledge and principles in way you understand them.
- The Coach — these help you develop skills and strategies to get to the next level.
- The Character Developer — this mentor helps you develop and strengthen aspects of your character that are strong or maybe address areas that are weak and you need help to deal with. they help you work on your integrity and behavior.
- The Specialist — help maximize and develop in specific areas.
- The Sage — these mentors are people with wisdom and experience that help you develop your heart and identity.
Mentors, more often than not, will have some components of these ‘types’ but will normally be best at one or another.
As you decide what you need then look for the characteristics in possible mentors that best fit your needs and then talk through with them what you need and whether they can help. Good mentors will have a good understanding of their abilities and strengths.
3. What are you looking for in a mentor:
Look for authentic people — people who know who they are; who at ease with who they are and not trying to impress you or the world. People who are willing to share their own weaknesses, brokenness and failures with you. look for a mentality that is looking to serve and not be the ‘guru’.
Look for people who have integrity — they are people who have a good character and reputation with their family, friends and in the community. People who have respect but show respect to others.
But more importantly, someone you can respect, share openly and you feel you can build trust with over time.
Note: they are not going to be perfect!
Whoever you choose they should be someone that listens to your heart, can recognize and develop ‘your genius’ and help you ‘see and imagine’ what this might look like, as well as help you to get there.
4. So, how do you find a mentor
Having decided the ‘what’ and ‘what’ — what you want to achieve and what characteristics you’re looking for in a mentor — start to look out for one.
Firstly, consider is there someone I’m already in contact with that I can approach. Make a list of people you respect and you think could help. From this list, ask are the available, could I build trust with them, are they or have they ever mentored anyone. If the answer to these questions is ‘yes’ then prioritise the list and start to contact them one by one until you get a ‘yes’ from one of them. If there isn’t someone obvious then start to talk to people and ask for recommendations and persist until you find someone.
Secondly, having found someone, set really clear expectations, timeframes and regular review times. A good mentor will do this anyway!
Thirdly, as far as possible make sure it is possible for meet face to face at least occasionally.
A good mentoring relationship is such a wonderful, rewarding and fulfilling experience for both parties. I hope you are successful in your pursuit of a good mentor, for growth and fulfilling your potential.