I’m Getting Married Next Week
And I’m not freaking out at all, I think.
I am 24 years old as of writing this and I’m getting married in a week. I’ve been engaged to my beautiful fiancé for about two months now and quite frankly, I don’t think it has even hit me yet…
It is indeed crazy to think that I’m tying that knot next Saturday, marrying not only Nikki but her whole world as well — the in-laws, her interests, her ideals, even the stuff she only does inside her room. (I hope these won’t be too much of a surprise. I mean, don’t even know whether she snores or not.)
I’m marrying all of it.
I think it’s pretty much established that the thought could be extremely intimidating. Bearing that amount of responsibility could give anyone a good scare.
I believe marriage is taking the ultimate plunge in life.
And judging by the world’s standards, what I’m doing here is basically a nosedive into the very depths of The Grand Canyon.
I just barely graduated college, carrying a decent amount of debt on my back; three weeks in on my first job while running a business that hasn’t turned a significant amount of profit yet.
Long story short, I don’t have a lot of money on me right now. I’m far from being what you would call ‘set’, financially.
I know some of my friends and family probably have all these thoughts of concern swirling around their heads. And it’s not just because they care about me.
They’re not in the wrong for thinking that by any means though. Honestly I really couldn’t blame them.
In this day and age, everyone seems to have that one collective thought regarding marriage — specifically requirements that need to be met for someone to even begin to remotely consider it.
However, I too have my own thoughts on the subject and am thoroughly convinced that they are right for me though some may be contrary to the norm.
Getting married just made perfect sense
I’m a Mormon you see, quite devoted at that. I went on a mission where I wore a white shirt and tie every single day for two straight years and walked countless miles under the heat of the unforgiving Filipino sun; visiting people’s houses and teaching the Gospel of Christ (I’m sure you’ve seen the memes).
Although I’m not going to talk about Mormonism in this piece, let me mention one thing about us which is: we are highly encouraged to marry early; typically as soon as we come home from the mission.The average latter-day saint RM (returned missionary) had just entered his/her twenties around this time.
If you know anything about me, I’m no blind-faith, hardcore obedience kind of guy without questioning a little bit. So rest assured that I had indeed put a lot of thought into this.
The thing is though, it made perfect sense to me.
Getting married — it’s the ultimate character-builder!
I absolutely love the idea of being thrown into the refiner’s fire right off the bat. No cushions, no training wheels; just BAM, a whole slew of responsibilities that forces you to think about the essential things in life.
..Especially if you’re on a tight budget.
You won’t be able to afford to slip up, at all. The stakes are the highest they’ve ever been.
We Mormons believe that marriage is eternal — as in, beyond the grave. That makes it even more intense!
I’ve always wanted to be an effective person, superior self discipline and maintain a higher level of thinking.
I wanted to be able to just stop thinking about myself a lot and start thinking about other people more often. Trust me. Almost if not all of these “self-help” books ironically tell you to do exactly that for a more holistic and enjoyable life.
Marriage and all the responsibility that comes with it seemed to me like the ultimate gateway to this kind of life.
Sure enough, I was convinced to make it a personal goal myself.
The Real Reason Why
I’ve been going on about the desire of building character and all that self-improvement stuff as the reason for wanting to get married early.
And although I meant every word of it, the real reason for my decision is .. her
We met 6 years ago and have been dating since.
Early on I knew that there was something about this woman that’s beyond human comprehension.
And weirdly as early as the first year, I already wanted to marry her. It just continued to intensify from there.
This decision, to propose to her a few weeks before graduation with a mere humble bouquet of white roses in hand, no ring, no job, no stable source of income — it seems nuts but for me it was no-brainer the right thing to do.
I had my moments of trembling for sure. I’m not gonna lie.
But because it’s her we’re talking about, my fears were immediately put to bed.
The proposal was returned with a resounding ‘yes’ with enormous amount of enthusiasm, confirming my hopes.
I knew it then and I know it even more now. She’s the one.
Gotta Love Responsibility
Stephen Covey said in his famous book ‘The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People’ that love is a responsibility. The love, if real, isn’t supposed to go away once the feelings of infatuation start to recede.
If you’ve chosen right (which I can’t stress enough is extremely important), the love and all its glory is supposed to shine brightest specifically when all those raging hormones have subsided a little bit.
Once she has put on a bit of weight or when the wrinkles on her face start to emerge, will the anniversaries and important events still be remembered and celebrated with enthusiasm?
Will surprises and sweet gestures remain? Will small acts of service such as cleaning the sink, scrubbing the bathroom tiles or voluntary taking errands for each other continue to be a common thing?
Will the level of respect between you and her be maintained?
I wholeheartedly believe that indicators like these are at the very core of a successful marriage.
The promise is: when loving acts persist in spite of everything, the feelings of love wille come back very very soon.
I’m going back on what I said at the beginning of this article because, I actually do think it has already hit me. I’m just not panicked about it.
I know I’ve chosen right, with every fiber of my being.
I know myself, I know her and I’m confident I know what I’m getting myself into.
So if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to prep up for one epic nosedive leap for the ages.