I’ve been told by a few close friends that I’m too patient, too considerate, and let too much go for the sake of understanding/dealing with others feelings. When it “blows up” in my face it sometimes leaves me dazed,confused, and angry but I persist in it because it’s who I am naturally. I know of no other way to be.
I carry this behavior into my personal and professional relationships. I have hopes for how I wish for relationships to go but I manage my expectations. This behavior allow me to be less disappointed and rebound rather quickly when “things don’t go my way”
or change how(if i even continue) to interact with someone. I know that I’ve done all that I could do.
And based off of that I have the following understanding and beliefs.
WHEN IT’S NEW… Sacrifices will occur in newer relationships, no doubt. You have less free time because you’re investing it in getting to know someone BUT do not let a new relationship have you giving up goals, hobbies, friends, eating habits etc… FIND BALANCE.
SPACE is necessary in a relationship. It keeps things fresh and quality time more meaningful.
It is unfair to insinuate if/when it ends that your partner BLOCKED YOU from existing outside of him/her if YOU couldn’t/refused to find balance. We all have choices to make. You are not a victim of control but rather not enough self control. COMPROMISE but don’t relinquish your being.
Expecting your partner not to have activities/time outside of you is unfair. And behaving(directly or indirectly) in a manner that conveys that is problematic.
Alone together is cool but WE ALL NEED SPACE AND TIME TO OURSELVES. We all face struggle daily and need time to make sure we are whole and sound as we can be. Sometimes we need to be alone. That is not abandonment. That’s a natural human need.
Comfortable silence needs to be a thing. It’s not always something not being said. Sometimes it’s beautiful that nothing needs to be said. UNDERSTANDING.
LET IT BUILD…NATURALLY
If you aren’t racing against a clock to achieve relationship status and someone SAYS and then behaves like they want to be with you? Let it build, Naturally.
AINT NO CLOCK FOR LOVE, BIH!
If you are racing against a clock to achieve relationship/marriage status THINK about how that might influence your behavior and thoughts albeit unintentionally.
Recognize your ideas about how a relationship SHOULD go might create unrealistic expectations because Life got a funny way doing the opposite of what you hoped/planned it would because LIFE!
******I am not unrealistic in my beliefs about relationships. I expect honesty, trust, loyalty, and communication but I know people gon people.******
I know that you can SAY ONE THING and HAVE TO DO another because LIFE HAPPENS. And that’s where communication and understanding come in. TRUST
Don’t operate from a space of “people’s feelings change day to day”. We know that for a fact. THAT’S LIFE and something We can’t control. FAITH
Control what you can control. Because believing/focusing on that statement will have you searching for shit that ain’t necessarily there. PEACE OF MIND.
If they say that want to be with you and you say you want to be with them, Believe it. Focus your energy on that. CHOICE
Do not look for clues of your departure. THAT is having TRUST in people and their word until they give you clear reason not to.
That’s where communication comes in. Not accusations of betrayal but questions to understand what might be going on. To gain clarity. COMMUNICATION
You are entitled to feel what you feel. Don’t let anyone invalidate your feelings. BUT THINK about the contributing circumstances and whether your feelings are accuratley assessing the situation as a whole. Remember, feelings(even when we feel them strongly)
are not facts. Just because we feel it, doesn’t make it so. Our insecurities could be speaking subconsciously. We must remove our feelings. Use our logic. Proceed accordingly.
Be You AND Be Kind To People.
We Must Offer The Same Understanding and Patience We Wish To Receive.