Creating a habit in 66 days: Day 4
I have always had a lot of friends since the time I decided I wanted to have a lot of them. Yes, I believe that having or not having friends is a personal decision. I have both male and female friends, but here I mainly talk about my female friends because they outnumber my male friends, and quite often I have issues mainly with them. I care about all of my friends, and I feel bad when I lose one of them. My care about my friends involves calling or messaging them, getting interested in what are happening in their lives. I do my best to be a part of their lives. I share my good and bad times with them, and naturally, I expect them to do the same thing. However, as always happens when you have expectations, something quite different happens in real life.
The older I get (I am 29 now :) ), the more I realize that my expectations are not realistic partly, because girls get married and have children. Their priorities change, and somehow I am left behind. They are too much engrossed in their own lives, that my problems look very tiny in comparison with theirs because first, I don’t have kids, and second, I don’t have any in-laws to deal with. Or, they are too tired of their household chores that they don’t have time for me. With those who still try to keep in touch, quite often we don’t have anything common left to talk about during our rare meetings except the past memories we once shared.
Another part of the problem comes from the fact that the older we get, the more different our views become, and fewer people we need to discuss our opinion. Apparently, discussing a hot guy at the next group at university was more interesting than discussing the topics like the meaning of life and career goals. In addition to that, now we have a lot other ways to discuss our days. These days, we have our virtual friends and followers who will willingly like, comment, and share our posts about our neighbors and opinion on the issues around us. Thirdly, the more of these great social network we have, the more we forget how to communicate with the real people, especially friends. These days, we don’t often call our friends to say happy birthday to them as before because now we have Whatsapp through which we can easily send an audio message. We can send our photos to friends through Whatsapp and get few comments instead of talking about them face to face.
I understand that now we are too busy with our work and in general, with our own life that we don’t have time for talking to our friends. However, I still believe that when a person wants to meet her friend, she will find that time no matter what.
Then, what is the real problem behind weakened friendships that I have been continuously experiencing for the last seven years? I am confused and frustrated….