Staying with in-laws- 5 tips to make it work
For a lot of you reading this, the word “in-laws” is equally laden with negative associations. Even more frightening is the idea of actually living with the in-laws.Let’s face it, living with your in-laws can be hard. Different cultures, different ways of doing things. We are programmed in a certain way and think all other ways of doing something is wrong.
We’re human and we have the tendency to over analyse everything. A simple gesture to help you may seem like a hint of your inability to do a task.
Keep Calm and move on
Conflict is inevitable. It happens in every family. Understand this, your spouse lived a different life before you joined the family and Likewise you and your spouse have a different life together that their family has no idea of. They don’t know you both enjoy a soap marathon on Fridays or do laundry only on Sundays. When your worlds collide, some conflict is inevitable.
Stay out of your spouse’s family conflict as much as possible. Simply, avoid it.
If you have a difference of opinion, voice it but respectfully. Avoid losing your temper and raising your voice. It just makes things worse. If you’re mad, just walk away. Breathe and carry on.
Find the Silver Lining
There is always some positive that comes out of any situation. Find it.
They find your cooking boring. Well its time to try something new. You’re asked to wake up early. Develop a morning routine. Every cloud has a silver lining. Find it.
Vent but wisely
Its natural to vent to your spouse. But remember, they are his/her parents. Be considerate when you criticize. Remember they’ve opened up their home and heart to you and are also trying. Put yourself in their shoes and try to understand why they’re mean(or you thought they were mean)
First priority = Your Spouse
It’s easy to get carried away in household responsibilities and frustrated with it. Your spouse may sometimes end up being victim to your misdirected anger. Remember its not their fault. They’re torn between their parent and you. Try to be the bigger person and help them out. Your ultimate allegiance is to your spouse. Ensure you don’t give up on LIFE just because you live with in laws.
Sex it up
Just because you’ve moved in with in laws doesnt mean you need to give up on your sex life. Even casual displays of affection like kissing or hugging may be difficult around parent. Nevermind the constant fear of parent over hearing your intimate moments through the wall.
Maintaining your sex life is an important part of maintaining your marriage. Adapt or let go of your fears. If you’re still uncomfortable, take weekend vacations together but ensure you don’t give up on your sex life
Remember you are just a pixel in a canvas called the universe.