Not so Fresh Grad
Unlike my other batchmates I didn’t really have that “transition” phase from graduation to looking for work. I already had a job while I was finishing my thesis last year. And trust me when I say balancing your worklife with thesis writing can drive you insane. So when I finally got to march amidst the sunflowers last June, I did not even have a day to myself where I could relax or sleep in, I had to teach my students the next day. And as of now we’re at our fourth week of school.
I often see posts about fresh graduates going out of town and just basically having a great time. A much needed vacation. Time for themselves. Time that unfortunately, I do not have. Time that I cannot afford. When you are committed to a job that you are passionate about, let’s not fool ourselves into thinking that we won’t ever work a day in our lives. Working is essential and goes hand in hand with our passions and respective fields. There will be days that the work feels light and I feel that I have enough energy to power through different activities that aren’t related to my work. Recently however, I have noticed that I have become increasingly tired, to the point of exhaustion. Even going out seemed too tedious for me and I couldn’t even do the things that I wanted to do. I could no longer go to gigs, go to places at my leisure (I had to take into account my salary and budget) things that I did not really think about before.
Right now I am a preschool teacher who hardly gets sleep but still wakes up every morning to greet her students with a smile. Sometimes I falter, my smile curls up into a frown and my eyebrows meet. Sometimes I need a moment to compose myself. Remind myself again that this is my passion and that it’s ok to feel tired. It’s okay to admit that you want to rest. And above all take the time to take care of myself. So tonight, the lesson plans can wait. I will kick my shoes off, listen to my favorite music and find rest.
