Who’s on first?

I’m currently working through Jenny Lawson’s, http://theblogess.com “You Are Here” adult coloring book. To help relieve some of my anxiety.

Yes, an adult coloring book.

I have to admit 10 minutes a day has been the best meditation I have ever had, but I digress. But what Ms. Lawson does an excellent job doing is capturing mental health issues such as social anxiety, OCD, depression, etc., through complex images. And if you just spend a few minutes on any social media site you will see some great examples of mental health issues in “comic” form. So I wanted to do something like this, however, I suck at drawing.

So after some casual YouTube browsing, it hit me like a ton of bricks. Living with mental health conditions; especially OCD and anxiety, at least for me, which fill your head with a countless feed of irrational thoughts is just like…drum roll….

The “Who’s on First?” comedy routine made famous by Abbott and Costello.

I am willing to wager most of you have at least seen clips of this, it’s some pretty remarkable writing and laugh out loud funny. Notice, I did not use LOL, that would be a disservice to Abbott and Costello.

If you’ve never seen or hell even if you have seen it check it out again here: Abbott and Costello, “Who’s on First?”

This will probably be the best 8 minutes of your time today, unless you saved a puppy or kitten earlier today, then it might be a tie. After you watch it head back over here to finish up this blog post and actually get to the point of it. I’ll wait…

Okay, welcome back. Funny stuff right? Okay…now let’s remove the video and audio…

Below is just the dialogue from that hilarious routine. This is the best example of what I can come up with (right now) on what goes on in my head and many others who struggle with mental illness on a never-ending basis. If you are not frustrated and ready to rip your hair out by the end, well then you win the prize. However, as of now that prize simply is virtual high five. Sorry times are tough ¯_(ツ)_/¯

Enjoy! Wait actually don’t enjoy. No wait I want you to enjoy being frustrated…if that’s possible.

“Who’s on First”, as performed by Abbott and Costello…

Abbott: Strange as it may seem, they give ball players nowadays very peculiar names.

Costello: Funny names?

Abbott: Nicknames, nicknames. Now, on the St. Louis team we have Who’s on first, What’s on second, I Don’t Know is on third…

Costello: That’s what I want to find out. I want you to tell me the names of the fellows on the St. Louis team.

Abbott: I’m telling you. Who’s on first, What’s on second, I Don’t Know is on third —

Costello: You know the fellows’ names?

Abbott: Yes.

Costello: Well, then who’s playing first?

Abbott: Yes.

Costello: I mean the fellow’s name on first base.

Abbott: Who.

Costello: The fellow playin’ first base.

Abbott: Who.

Costello: The guy on first base.

Abbott: Who is on first.

Costello: Well, what are you askin’ me for?

Abbott: I’m not asking you — I’m telling you. Who is on first.

Costello: I’m asking you — who’s on first?

Abbott: That’s the man’s name.

Costello: That’s who’s name?

Abbott: Yes.

Costello: When you pay off the first baseman every month, who gets the money?

Abbott: Every dollar of it. And why not, the man’s entitled to it.

Costello: Who is?

Abbott: Yes.

Costello: So who gets it?

Abbott: Why shouldn’t he? Sometimes his wife comes down and collects it.

Costello: Who’s wife?

Abbott: Yes. After all, the man earns it.

Costello: Who does?

Abbott: Absolutely.

Costello: Well, all I’m trying to find out is what’s the guy’s name on first base?

Abbott: Oh, no, no. What is on second base.

Costello: I’m not asking you who’s on second.

Abbott: Who’s on first!

Costello: St. Louis has a good outfield?

Abbott: Oh, absolutely.

Costello: The left fielder’s name?

Abbott: Why.

Costello: I don’t know, I just thought I’d ask.

Abbott: Well, I just thought I’d tell you.

Costello: Then tell me who’s playing left field?

Abbott: Who’s playing first.

Costello: Stay out of the infield! The left fielder’s name?

Abbott: Why.

Costello: Because.

Abbott: Oh, he’s center field.

Costello: Wait a minute. You got a pitcher on this team?

Abbott: Wouldn’t this be a fine team without a pitcher?

Costello: Tell me the pitcher’s name.

Abbott: Tomorrow.

Costello: Now, when the guy at bat bunts the ball — me being a good catcher — I want to throw the guy out at first base, so I pick up the ball and throw it to who?

Abbott: Now, that’s the first thing you’ve said right.


Abbott: Don’t get excited. Take it easy.

Costello: I throw the ball to first base, whoever it is grabs the ball, so the guy runs to second. Who picks up the ball and throws it to what. What throws it to I don’t know. I don’t know throws it back to tomorrow — a triple play.

Abbott: Yeah, it could be.

Costello: Another guy gets up and it’s a long ball to center.

Abbott: Because.

Costello: Why? I don’t know. And I don’t care.

Abbott: What was that?

Costello: I said, I DON’T CARE!

Abbott: Oh, that’s our shortstop!

Feel like coloring yet?

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