I would slightly disagree with your assumption that anyone who thinks they should be further along by now is wanting success immediately. I’ve been writing seriously (as in, writing and submitting to places) since 2005, and I see how well other people have done who only took up writing two or three years ago, and I do think that I should be further along by now. That’s not wanting success immediately, or needing instant gratification. 11 years of graft can hardly be considered ‘instant’. But sometimes you can do all of the ‘right’ things and it still just doesn’t happen for you. That’s not to say that you deserve anything, but I think it’s important for writers to realise that actually putting in the effort, doing the writing, doing the promotion, offering something of value…sometimes it’s just not enough, and you need to figure out how you’re going to deal with that when it happens.