shout into the black

years ago, I blogged, I blogged about my life, I blogged about my friends’ lives, my family’s lives. sometimes I wrote about my dates, never the heartaches, sometimes I wrote about my past, occasionally the future, never really my dreams. I thought about that blog a few days ago, still stored in a frozen state on blogger with all my posts of several years moved to draft. words impossible to dissolve into the ether, I can’t pull the switch, I can’t hit that button, and yet, I can’t find my voice anymore.maybe those words from the past still haunts me now.

I miss the audience, miss the encouraging comments, miss the debates raging on among my readers. but I don’t miss showing the world that side, even if sometimes a little false. I don’t miss the narcissism, the shallow germs of wisdom revealed, that in retrospect, mean nearly nothing in this world wide web.

so,here in this funny garden, not quite walled, but not quite out there, maybe I will feel safe enough to find my voice again, and exercise those muscles that, for now, seems forever trapped on blogger.