I trolled you.

As you sit there reading this — unless, of course, you have a standing desk —

What, do you think you’re better than me?

I have, in fact, trolled you. Yes, you have been trolled. Because, you see, you clicked this link, thinking you’d have something entertaining or informative, or, at the very least, interesting — to read, but I have, in fact, trolled you.

You thought you could find something thoughtful, made by the careful hands of another thinking, lucid human being; but, in point of fact, I have trolled you. Just like Martin Shkreli trolled Congress — just as Ted Cruz trolled Donald Trump — I have trolled you.

You are trolled now.

There is no escape from this ruse.

What, did you expect content? Oh, you poor baby: you actually thought that there would be normal human beings online, with functioning brains, who would not turn everything into a deliberate attempt at meaningless deceit? You really thought that you could find something intelligent, written by someone online?

No. No, sir, madam, or powered steamshovel. No. There is not going to be any of that here. Because, you have, in point of fact, been trolled. Your attempts at finding content online that was not written with malicious intent to fool you are, in fact, vain.

You expected something that was written by a normal person. Something that had some sort of meaning, some sort of substance. You fully expected something useful; something, at the very least, that was not written with the intent of screaming, “TROLLED”, as you took my bait.

Because you are a fish, and this is the bait.

But there is no bait here.

I have, in fact, cheated you.

p.s. this is satire