This is satire.
Hi there! I’m a writer. Because I can publish things online, that also makes me a blogger. And because I’m a blogger, I’m a journalism.
Let’s do a journalism.
Most people don’t realize the power of satire. Everything I type online is, in fact, satire. The hateful things I say, the ridiculous beliefs I defend, and the quite frankly nonsensical concepts I purport to be true? It’s all satire.
In point of fact, I don’t actually believe anything I say online. Or off-. Because, this is a new age. This is the age of digital freedom. Free speech, man. Gotta have it. Gotta defend it. Even if someone is an actual self-admitted criminal, you just have to defend them. Because free speech, man. And GamerGate.
If I say something I believe in deeply, but people find fault with it — let’s say I advocate rape, murder, stalking, or abuse in general — well, here’s the quick and dirty way to get out of that:
I just say it’s satire, and I’m in the clear.
Because free speech, man.
Gotta have it.
Free speech is very important. Without free speech, we couldn’t have had GamerGate. Without GamerGate, we wouldn’t have been able to save the free world. You would currently be taking a re-education class about pronouns without free speech.
Free speech, man.
It is because free speech is so important that free speech is so important. Its power is in its importance, which is absolute. You should be free to say anything and everything that you want, even the things you shouldn’t be allowed to say, because if you are not allowed to say them, then that’s wrong.
The importance of free speech is actually in its utility to prevent tyranny. The ability to say what you want, when you want, without being imprisoned for political reasons, is a freedom that is not enjoyed by everyone in the world. In some countries, you can actually go to prison for shit-talking the ruler. Yeah, even though we have hoverboards, somehow, we still have that part of the world that does goofy shit like that.
Hoverboards, man.
It’s 2016.
Free speech.
When someone closes a comment section on me, my freedoms are being infringed upon. I should be able to say whatever I want, whenever I want. Because it is not just pleasurable for me to spew shit into comment sections, but it is, in fact, my right. No matter who owns the website, I have a right to be able to shit up every place with a text box.
Because free speech.
Because free speech, man.
