I Changed My Mind: Thoughts on Partnership

She wouldn’t let up about this man. ‘’He was amazing…he made so much sense with all he was saying. I really think you should meet him’’. On and on she went about this man. He had come to speak at a program on her campus. I just had to google his name. — CASE ONE
‘’You should buy this book’’. He pointed at the book. A lady had come in to sell business and management books at the office, hawking them from desk to desk. I said ‘’yes sir’’ and promptly shelled out the cash to buy it on the spot. — CASE TWO
I was having a great day at the office. She just had to interrupt my flow. She was my direct report but was responsible for a specific brand and insisted I go with her for the weekly client meeting. I said no, she persisted. I gave up and went with her. As we got to the front of the meeting room at the client office, the client was leaving the building for good. Before he left he made me a life changing offer — CASE THREE
The meeting was boring. It wasn’t related to any project I was working on, I was just standing in for my boss who was out of town. As the meeting dragged on, I got a mail from the guy sitting across me. It had a link to an article. I read it through and my heart started beating fast. As the meeting ended I told him to wait behind, we had to talk — CASE FOUR
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The Adjustment Bureau (2011) is one of those films that speak to me in a visceral way. If you haven’t watched it, please do. One of the very interesting plot lines in the film was about this group of men (the bureau) whose task was to ensure everyone in the world stays on ‘The Plan’- some sort of grand design of how all our lives should play out as prescribed by the ‘’Chairman’’.

If anyone was going out of the plan, the bureau’s task was to ‘’adjust’ them — an innocuous idea dropped in your mind, spilling your coffee on your shirt on the way to work, orchestrating a chance meeting with someone who would open you to your next phase in ‘’the plan — all actions geared to right size you to the master plan.
The men of the bureau could not read your mind but they could evaluate your likely choices if they presented options to you. Worst of all, we humans could not influence their actions but they could influence ours. The film only stopped short of calling these guys angels.
One of the key thoughts that stayed with me when I first watched it years ago was this idea of changing someone’s mind. How do we change a persons mind about something they want to do? How easy is it to do? Do we only change our minds when certain people speak to us? Do you feel like someone can change your mind but you can’t change theirs? Are you the adjuster or the ‘adjustee’?
The default position a lot of people put up is that they are hard to influence. People take pride in how firmly they hold their opinions. A mix of pride and habit built into their self concept results in this heady mindset. They take pride in how they can bend others to their will but leave no room themselves to be swayed by the opinions of others. I believe this is a dangerous way to live.
You are shutting yourself off from serendipity. That improbable mix that ensures that things you didn’t plan for can come into your life and consciousness. If the front you put up is one of regular defiance, a wall garden shut off, don’t be surprised when people begin to act strangely towards you. You will be perceived as self-sufficient and treated as such.
This isn’t an endorsement for passive mediocrity either. You must have opinions of your own and be ready to follow them. This is required lest you become a tame lamb to be led to slaughter by anyone with an ulterior agenda. You must clearly refine the people you allow to influence you with their suggestions.
Actively cultivating a set of ‘adjusters’ is critical. People who you trust to influence your choices, who you can change your mind for. It is even more glorious if those people also allow you ‘adjust’ them. If I were to proffer a theory on this I would say it is great to be open to adjustment from people who also permit you to adjust them. A mutual adjustment society for sorts. 😊
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I’m sure you’re wondering what all the ‘cases’ above have in common. Well they are all personal stories from my life and showcase the role some people played to adjust my career trajectory at pivotal moments. These people are all special to me in a way that only I can understand. They stand out for me because they are people who can make me change my mind.
I have come to this realization in retrospect, this insight was fairly dancing on the edges of my consciousness over the years. I have partnered with these people for long term interactions because of this trait they all share. It has led me to advise people on a key requirement for choosing partners in any endeavour in life: choose to partner with people who can make you change your mind.
They ideally have been people who have earned your trust before hand. Things they have advised or suggested to you have tended to lead you on to fortune or greater productivity.
Case One is the story of my wife Gbemi, at the time my girlfriend. The man she spoke so glowingly about was Fela Durotoye. She knew my obsession with being a consultant (my stated career goal at the time) and had listened to Fela speak about careers, a relationship with God and family life. She really couldn’t articulate why she wanted me to meet this man. Though these discussions were in 2003, mercifully the use of google was becoming widespread. I checked him out online and read an interview he had given. To cut a long story short, I had found the consultant under whom I wanted to learn my craft and landed my first job at his firm. Life changing.
Case Two is the story of Bayo Adekanmbi He was Manager of Strategy and Account planning at DDB, an ad agency I had just joined in 2005 after leaving the consulting track for marketing communications. I had seen him lead strategy sessions and agency pitches with so much precision and insight. He was clearly respected in the agency.

He very casually told me to buy the book — Ogilvy on Advertising — and continued typing on his laptop. I got the book and immediately started reading it. The book gave incredible perspective to the industry I had just joined. Before he closed for work that day, Bayo called me and we spoke at length about how to succeed in advertising/marketing. We became close and he eventually influenced my changing lanes from Public Relations -the job I was hired to do- to Account and Strategic Planning. Bayo has gone on to increasingly dizzy career heights himself but without a doubt, I would not have had as clear a vision of my future career path if I had not opened myself up to Bayo’s input on a book purchase.
Case Three is the story of Oyinade Olufemi-Osobajo (Nee Olajiga). The client was MTN and it was to attend a meeting on the youth segment which she managed on the agency side for DDB. I had spent a lot of time ensuring she felt capable to run the unit by granting her autonomy and cover. It was thus surprising when she insisted I attend this particular meeting. Our client contact Elvis was leaving MTN for Etisalat, we didn’t know this at the time. That day was his last day of being allowed in the building (seeing as he was going to work for the competition). So my running into him was pure serendipity. As we shook hands, it appeared a thought occurred to him and he asked me a question. Would I be willing to come work with him at Etisalat? I didn’t bat an eyelid as I replied in the affirmative. We shook hands and he left. When a vacancy to be Manager Youth Segment at Etisalat was approved he called me to apply for it. The rest is history. I spent 7 amazing years there and it may never had happened if I didn’t let Oyin change my mind.
Case Four is the story of Oje (hat tip to Jay Z 😊 ). Oje Ojeaga was heading the Creative team at Etisalat’s advertising agency. We had become friends after working together on several campaigns for the youth segment and across Etisalat in general. Nearly every app on my phone was a recommendation from Oje, he was the go to guy for many knowledge tools I used and vice versa. By now I hope you see the emerging pattern, Oje was someone who could influence me because I had tested his recommendations. They were usually first rate. On this fateful day in 2015, he was at Etisalat for a meeting that I was attending on behalf of my boss, Elvis. For some strange reason Oje sent me a mail with an article titled ‘’5 Critical Mistakes To Avoid When Starting an Agency’’ by Kyle Racki. As I read through the article, light bulbs went off in my head. I asked him to wait behind after the meeting. I asked him what his plans were, he said he hoped to start an agency one day. He then asked if I would be interested in such. I said yes. We share the same birthday — June 6th- and so we decided to plan to start an agency on our birthday the following year (2016). Little did we know we would have to start Up in The Sky many months ahead of that date.
These are some of the people that can change my mind and i can change theirs, my very own Adjustment Bureau — go get yours. Cheers
