in this piece i try to figure out the difference between two lubes by using them to conduct a controlled experiment on my butthole

I went to buy some floss at the Walgreens at belmont and broadway. My friend Lucas (you guys don’t know him) was with me. Lucas was going to get his passport picture taken. Somehow we found ourselves in the condom, cock ring, lube aisle. That aisle is called the family planning aisle. Hey you-

You: yeah Ida

Ida: did you know that?

You: (awnsers)

Ida: That’s what they call it. Anyway, i was in the family planning vibrating cock ring aisle and thats when I saw them, on the shelf. Joe Lube, and Jose Lube…they’re the same this one is red. Joe Lube. This one says: (reads ingredients in English) and this one says… that. But in Spanish. Hey, you?

You: yeah, Ida

Ida: Are you bilingual?

You: (awnsers)

Ida: I am. But it doesn’t mean I use the Spanish option at the ATM. Know what I mean?

Hey You

You: yeah Ida

Ida: have you had anal sex? (doesnt awnser) I have. But it doesn’t mean I use the Spanish option at the ATM. you know what I mean? Jose Lube. Joe Lube. Family planning aisle. You.

You: Ida.

Ida: I think Jose Lube and Joe Lube are the exact same lube.

You: Only one way to find out.

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