The Small Talk of a Weekend Baggage

Hello there internet of things! My introduction will be very brief because I suffer from “I-suck-at-small-talk” disease .

Introduction: … My name is Lotie. I like to write… (silence)

See… I really do suck at small talk… especially on Monday mornings.

The things small talk says

Walking into work Monday has honed my skill of playing hide-and-seek. I hide from anyone and everyone, while I go and seek for coffee. Why do I hide? Simply because Monday, which I like to call the “weekend baggage”, is a day for most people to grieve over Sunday. Most of us are all sorts of moody on Monday’s, making small talk a little bit more challenging than it already is.

Have you ever been in a situation where the people seated next to you or the ONLY person you ALWAYS happen to end up with in the elevator on Mondays asks the same question EVERY SINGLE TIME? I’m talking about the usual, “Hey! How are you? How was your weekend? Did you do anything fun? Wow! That sounds exciting!” conversations that tends to almost always end in an awkward silence, which then consumes you until you are saved or you decide to run from it.

This girl has <<< ..many times… and I think because of those experiences, I’ve learned to master the art of silence or the art of getting away from it, depending on how you look at it. Don’t get me wrong though, small talk can be very beneficial depending on the purpose and the context in which small talk is being used, this is merely about the case of Mondays.

So, without further ado, here are the Do’s and Don’ts of Monday Morning Small Talks.

To avoid weekend baggage:

DO

  1. Make sure you have your headphones/earphones on before heading into the office or elevator. This will dissuade people from speaking to you because it is an implicit form of saying “Leave me alone!”
  2. To compliment #1, occupy yourself with your mobile phone and seem “busy”. Everyone knows Monday weather forecast in the office includes, massive showers of “important emails” accompanied by a strong current of “slack communications.” Your coworkers will emphatically understand and choose not to be intrusive.
  3. If #1 and #3 are not applicable, then make sure there are 3 or more people, including yourself, in a foreseen awkward silence situation. People tend to have better consensus of small talk if there are other contributors present and you won’t have to say as much

DON’T

  1. Do not make eye contact. Unwritten and unsaid rules dictate that he who makes eye contact first will need to give due salutations.
  2. Don’t try to save an awkward moment of silence. Trust me, you will most likely think about “shoulda-woulda-coulda” the entire day. Leave the awkwardness where it belongs.
  3. Don’t feel guilty if you choose NOT to say anything to anyone. Remember that you are a human being who also has some weekend baggage to get over, and that IT’S OKAY if you don’t want to engage in a conversation. Although if they talk to you first, out of civility, it’s advisable to respond, even before you’ve had your first cup of coffee.

Generally, I don’t think there is one perfect way to handle any form of awkwardness, but at least we got Monday down right?


Curiosity: What are your tips and tricks to deal with small talk?

I have imparted this wisdom with you today and hope that the advices from my own experience helps you in some way shape or form. Thank you for your time and for allowing me to be of service.