Being with the wrong person makes you more needy than being alone
You could have a diploma if there were a discipline called “being with the wrong person”. And it’s not like those people who have been dating the same kind of people and always get hurt in the same way. Guys just don’t captivate you for so long. People in general, don’t, but let’s focus on the guys.
It’s easy to get your attention. Be a shy funny boy who likes to cuddle and have deep conversations and netflix&chill kinda of dates. That works for a little while? Yes, it does. But at some point, it just… doesn’t. Why it keeps happening? You’re too pick? You like to live the moment? A little bit of both, but is not the right answer.
You’re just too dreamy. You break up for no good reason with those guys that shows their feelings for you, and they make you feel like the ice heart queen. And you actually believe that. What no one realized is that you’re the opposite. You’re the Disney dreamy girl. You believe there’s two or three guys around the world that would perfect fit in you, like your favorite dress. And in your mind, if you don’t find one of them, whats the point? Why would you stay with one guy who doesn’t make you feel complete, when you can have many of them? “Maybe if i date at the same time a funny shy guy, other who likes Netflix&chill dates and other who i can cuddle and have deep conversations with while i don’t met the big guy, i will be fine”, you think. And it’s actually a good plan, you will be fine.
The only problem with this plan is that they are not gonna be fine. While you’re thinking of them as a fun life experience they fall for you and thinks YOU AREthe one. That wouldn’t be a problem if you didn’t care, but you’re not the ice heart queen. You care about their feelings, then warns them that you just wanna have fun. They understand (or pretend to), but like so many people, after months “dating”, they assume you have changed your mind and wants more than “just fun”. After that, they start to want things from you. Things you said since the begging you would never give to them. You know you’re right, but
Who said you not gonna feel guilty? You will, but
Not guilty because they are hurt. People who just listen to what is convenient have to live with the consequences of it. You gonna feel guilty because you start to think there’s something wrong with you. Suddenly the all “live the all life alone with 27 cats and bitching kids who trows the ball in your garden” shit your aunt tells you becomes a real possibility. Some people would freak out and, idk, marry someone they met on Tinder. But not you. You starts to plan you all life assuming you’re gonna be (romantically speaking) alone forever, since the price range on apartments five years from now until ways to have children without a partner.
What does this have to do with the title?
Well you don’t plan things alone because you want to, you plan because you need to. Being with someone you don’t actually love just to do things the way your aunt thinks is right, is out of the question. So you plan as a person who not gonna have a partner.
But when you think of that? When you’re with a wrong person, obviously!!! When you’re single (i mean single single, with not even a “crush”) you experience an incredible feeling: the feeling of having all the time and all possibilities in the world just there, waiting for you. You don’t think you gonna be alone, because your life is all about your friends and one night stands, and you’re sure your soulmate is coming as fast as he can. But once you starts to seeing someone regularly, you start to think you gonna miss the big guy in some corner of life.
I’m not here to calm you down and say you’re not gonna miss the big guy in that corner, i’m just here to say that you’re not alone in this feeling.
Good luck to us!