Steve Covello
Nov 6 · 1 min read

There is a certain point in a marriage where parsing the past is no longer relevant to the context of the present. It would be like trying to argue about a flood that occurred 20 years ago because of a bad water drainage issue while the flames of a forest fire are leaping across the road towards your house.

Let the past go and focus on the future based on the foundation of the present. Work with what is front of you, not behind.

Some exceptions to that might be if you realized after 20 years that you had been in denial of your sexuality or gender identity in such a way that it had an impact on your partner’s perception of the relationship as a whole. Or perhaps if there had been some heinous crime in your past that will affect your freedom or a child you had parented that you had never disclosed. You get the drift. I don’t think what you described as your indiscretion falls into any of the buckets above.

Be merciful to yourself.

    Steve Covello

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    Instructional Designer, candlepin bowler, throat singer, snooker fan