We fell asleep together last night after almost 3 hours of nursing, singing of lullaby, rocking and reading of ABC book (part of your bed time ritual). There was also one time I felt so hopeless that I made Gerald the teddy bear my new baby. I pretentiously latched him to me. It worked but not to lure you more to feeding (so you can sleep, eventually) but to envy. You tried hard to get him off me so you can latch. I took him to the other breast but you refused to share so you took him off again. Now, Gerald is a rival. Even the act of having him in my or your father’s arm is now taboo. We hid him behind our pillows yet you managed to get him. The best part is that you showed no hostility towards him. The moment you took him from me, I expected that you’ll throw him away. You just held onto him instead.

This just made me feel I hit jackpot gold!

This is a result of us not showing agression towards other people or objects. The idea of hitting or hurting an object or a person that made a baby cried, to console him or her, does not appeal to me. It just don’t make sense.