If: A Line-by-Line Breakdown.
Hey guys. To be frank, I had written an entirely different letter that I planned to send out on Friday, but it just wasn’t good. I read it over at least five or six times and tested several variations to no avail. I didn’t want to send something out that I wasn’t happy with, so I decided to start fresh with a new idea. Perhaps I will revisit the former topic later, but for now, I think this letter is far more interesting.
‘If’ by Rudyard Kipling is my favorite poem. Over my last four years in the Navy, during training, field exercises, and deployment, there were countless occasions in which my access to luxury was restricted. Often, I wasn’t allowed to have a cell phone, so I carried a small notepad instead. As a result of the inevitable boredom that comes with military operations, I found myself writing and rewriting this poem over and over again in my notepad. I have probably written ‘If’ over a hundred times by hand, and each time, I was thrust into introspection. Here, for the first time, I'd like to write down what I think each line means. I do not know if the lessons I have extracted from ‘If’ align with Kipling’s original intent. Nor do I claim them to be absolute truths. Please don’t think I’m telling any of you that you must agree with these rules; I am merely trying to develop and share some ideas. Finally, for those of you who have never read ‘If,’ for context, Kipling wrote the poem as parting advice for his son, who was headed for the battlefield of WWI. It’s an honor to be able to share this with you. I hope one of these ideas resonates.
I have included the entire poem below. The website I use to write does not offer great formatting options for poems, so, unfortunately, it might read a little off. The poem is followed by a line-by-line breakdown.
If
If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:
If you can dream — and not make dreams your master;
If you can think — and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build ’em up with worn-out tools:
If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: ‘Hold on!’
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings — nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And — which is more — you’ll be a Man, my son!
-Rudyard Kipling
Breakdown:
If you can keep your head when all about you,
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
Stability is one of the most valuable character traits I have observed in others. The ability to remain calm in the face of adversity is much easier said than done. Those who have the emotional stability to remain unperturbed amidst chaos, are, without a doubt, more effective in their professional and personal lives. However, not only must you be able to withstand volatile circumstances, but you must also be able to bear the blame that others thrust on you for those circumstances, justified or not. If things are going wrong in your life, start searching for the reason in increasingly larger concentric circles around your own desk. If people are blaming you, it probably is your fault. If you are in a leadership role, it is your fault. Take responsibility. That being said, there is a dichotomy here; you can take this too far… but generally speaking, when things go bad, stability is key. When others blame you, accept it and keep moving forward. Stability is key. In chaos, give everyone some slack.
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
This is a masterfully distilled expression of the balance between confidence and humility. You should retain the capacity to believe in yourself against all odds. But that confidence must remain tempered by humility. If all men doubt you… there is probably a reason. Odds are, the entire world is not crazy; it might just be you. Take a step back, be self-aware, and try your best to objectively review the situation. Listen to others, of course, but never let yourself lose sight of your own value. Be confident, but be humble.
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Life might not be all about peak experiences. It may be about improving your plateau experiences. Every profession and every chosen path of life has lulls. Sometimes life will be boring, that’s fine. Don’t lose sight of the strategic picture. Play the long game. Patience is a virtue. Ebbs and flows, ebbs and flows, ebbs and flows.
Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:
People are going to lie. People will cheat and deceive you. People will treat you poorly. Don’t stoop. Don’t climb down from the high ground and wrestle with them in the mud. Don’t lie. Don’t gossip. Try your best to avoid talking about people behind their backs. Even if the whole world is spewing venom at you, you are not required to spit venom back. The dichotomy? Don’t be self-righteous. You don’t need to go around calling people out whenever they act without virtue. That’s not your job. Don’t give unsolicited advice (this probably seems hypocritical, I know). The goal is not to be seen as virtuous or wise; it is just to be virtuous and wise. The best revenge is to not be like that.
If you can dream — and not make dreams your master;
Have dreams and goals. Be ambitious. But do not tie your identity to your dreams. You are not your job. There is so much to experience in life; be careful of becoming a slave to dreams, or you might miss out. Deal with reality, not with how you wish reality to be. Be wary of delusional idealism.
If you can think — and not make thoughts your aim;
You should try to get smarter. Read, study, learn. Get better, always. But the underlying purpose behind improving your thinking should be to improve your actions. Do not be the guy who knows how to talk philosophy at the cocktail party but does not act on the wisdom he so willingly preaches. The goal isn’t to know things; it is to do things.
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
Both success and failure are external events. The only thing we control is our judgment of those things. The fleeting nature of success will always create a moving target. Once you get what you want, you want something new. When you fail, you might feel like the world is ending, it’s not. Both triumph and disaster are ephemeral. Both have lessons to offer. Keep your ego in check. Keep moving forward. You might discover that “while you thought you needed the tea ceremony for the caffeine, what you really needed was the tea ceremony.”
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
People will misrepresent you. People will behave exactly how you think they shouldn’t. But to expect anything less is like expecting an apple tree (or fig tree) not to produce apples (or figs). You know what you said, and you know what you did… how people react to that, is their task, not yours.
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build ’em up with worn-out tools:
This is probably one of the most difficult lines to practice. If you have given everything you have to a goal, and you still fail, it’s brutal. It sucks. For a while, you might wallow in sorrow or slip into a bout of nihilism. But you can’t give up altogether. If you think you deserve better, you don’t. Humble yourself. Get back to square one. Try again. Do it for the right reasons, and don’t complain. For some of us, this is what it takes.
If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
Does this line mean we should go to the nearest casino and bet our life savings on one hand of blackjack? No. What it means is that risk is required. If you want more, you might have to risk more. Find the balance that suits you. However, if you decide to take a big risk, you are responsible for the consequences. Do not pass the blame to anyone else. As you stoop to rebuild, avoid grasping for sympathy. Don’t be a victim. Try again.
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: ‘Hold on!’
Inevitably, you will be tested. Greatness, whatever that looks like for you, will demand discipline. You can always decide to keep going. Just take one more step.
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings — nor lose the common touch,
Don’t let fame and fortune, no matter the scale, cloud your judgment. Ego is the enemy. Obviously, humility is a recurring theme here. That is for a reason. No matter where you find yourself, don’t forget that you are just a human being like everyone else.
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
Identify what is within your control and what is not. Remember that others’ decisions are their task, not yours. Be okay on your own. Don’t value anyone’s opinion of you too highly.
If all men count with you, but none too much;
People admiring you could be a good sign. But keep this in check, too. Be careful not to surround yourself with ‘yes men.’ You are not that smart. You are not that clever. Be suspicious of those who lather you with compliments.
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And — which is more — you’ll be a Man, my son!
Finally, give it everything you’ve got. This is your one shot. Your one life. Dramatic, I know… but true. If you only try to act on one of these lessons, it should be this one. All it takes is all you’ve got.
Well, if you got this far, thanks for staying with me. Some of these ideas clearly need refining. But I think there is a generally coherent picture one can draw from my observations. I will likely continue to work on this letter privately. If any of you have ideas to share or things you think I got right or wrong, please send them over. I’d love to hear about some of your favorite poems. I find this stuff very interesting. Thanks again.
Have a good week.
-Ieuan
