The Exam Chills

A pretty, calm, dignified high school mate once told me something I have never forgotten and something I have had to come to terms with many times.

Let’s call her Lady H. (I had a crush on Lady H, maybe that’s why her words had a lot of significance)

She said, “A, there is something you have to watch, you are a bright kid, but I have noticed something, when exams comes you tend to get afraid.”

People get to know more about you than you do. Well in cases concerning behavior, people know you better than you know yourself. Especially, if you don’t know how to be true to yourself or have a bullshit filter.

This problem has plagued me my whole life. It swings from fear to overconfidence.

The fear comes as self doubt. The overconfidence is a case of illusion. Living in the clouds.

Moderation. Wish there was a pill for that. We need it in almost every aspect of life. My father’s favourite quip was always -moderation is key.

Just like tuning a radio where you have to turn the knob until you get the station you want. I have had to tune from fear to the point where overconfidence is about to start.

I have had to sprinkle fear where I spot overconfidence. This is moderation alley. No one shows you how to get it there. There is no pill. You have to try and try.

There is an improvement in my life now. I still have the fear, I bottle it better. I still have the over confidence, but I now know how to wash it with a little respect.

I have an oral interview today. I hope I bring my moderation game on point today. Swish! The sound of me 3 pointing the hell out of the exam. The best is here. Deep in my heart, head and soul.

God bless you people!