Panda Notes on Happiness and Meaning, the 5-Minute Version

I received many requests for a shorter version of my notes on happiness and meaning. Enjoy. You can read the full version on LinkedIn and on Medium.

1) The path to true happiness comes from pursuing meaning.

This is the theme of the NYMag article by Emily Esfahani Smith and Jennifer Aaker, and it is the theme of Emily’s new book The Power of Meaning. Furthermore, meaning is healthier than happiness.

Giving connects to meaning. As Emily and Jennifer wrote in the NYTimes, “People who said that doing things for others was important to them reported having more meaning in their lives.”

2) We increase happiness and meaning by spending our time intentionally.

As Jennifer Aaker says in her interview with Eric Barker, “People who spend more time on projects that energize them and with people who energize them tend to be happier.” So calendar your time thoughtfully.

3) “Happiness is (a) being content with the path you chose, instead of wondering what might have been, and (b) making others happier.” ~Adam Grant

Adam explores this in his essay Does trying to be happy make us unhappy?: “If you truly want to experience joy or meaning, you need to shift your attention away from joy or meaning, and toward projects and relationships that bring joy and meaning as byproducts.”

Adam’s book Give and Take demonstrates that giving can be a winning strategy in business, and it is the central theme of his TED Talk as well:

I am honored and humbled that Adam talks about five-minute favors — small ways to add large value to other peoples’ lives — as a way to protect givers from burnout at 5:30 in the TED talk, and in Give and Take.

Here are some of my favorite examples of five-minute favors:

1. Write a short, specific and laudatory note to recognize, recommend, or thank someone on LinkedIn, Facebook, Twitter, Yelp, or another social place. Note that in this favor, as with all five minute favors, it is important to be authentic and sincere. Only say and do what you truly believe.
2. Serve as a relevant reference for a person, product, or service.
3. Read a summary and offer crisp and concrete feedback.
4. Use a product and offer concise, vivid and helpful feedback.
5. Share, comment or retweet something on Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, etc.
6. Introduce two people with a well-written email, citing a mutual interest.
7. Be a disagreeable giver. As Joyce points out, doing so is tough but worthwhile.
8. Give someone a thank you note for something you sincerely appreciate, or give someone an affirmation during a time that s/he is in need of strength.

On that last point, when someone is learning resilience, we can be of great help. Offer the words of Bruce Lee: “Do not pray for an easy life. Pray for the strength to endure a difficult one.”

4) Ray Chambers says there are 5 keys to happiness.

As told by LinkedIn CEO Jeff Weiner to Oprah Winfrey:

1. Be in the moment.
2. It is more important to be loving than to be right.
3. Be a spectator to your own thoughts, especially when you become emotional, which is fundamental to compassion.
4. Be grateful for at least one thing every day.
5. Be of service to others.

5) Happiness fuels success, not vice versa.

Emma Seppala examines how happiness leads to success in her book The Happiness Track. She summarizes vast quantities of scientific research with six keys to happiness and success:

1. Live in the moment.
2. Be resilient.
3. Keep calm.
4. Do more of nothing.
5. Be good to yourself.
6. Be compassionate to others.

These keys are summarized nicely in a quote from Daymond John on Shark Tank: “Life is like business. It’s 20 percent what happens to you, and 80 percent how you respond.”

6) Happiness is a personal, interconnected choice.

As Shawn Achor says, “90% of your long-term happiness is predicted not by the external world, but by the way your brain processes the world.”

7) We think we know what will make us happy, but often we cannot predict.

It turns out that dancing, humor, social skills, self-esteem, and free time matter more to happiness than we think, as elucidated by Jennifer Aaker.

8) Life can be hard. But remember, while the difficult moments may decrease happiness, they are essential for building meaning and character.

Given that, Eric Barker offers actionable advice on how to be happier:

• Ask “What am I grateful for?” No answers? Doesn’t matter. Just searching helps.
• Label negative emotions. Give it a name and your brain isn’t so bothered by it.
• Decide. Go for “good enough” instead of “best decision ever made.”
• Hugs, hugs, hugs. Don’t text — touch.

A simple way to start the upward spiral of happiness: Just send someone a thank you email.

9) In work and in life, our happiness is connected to our relationships.

As Eric Schmidt said to Marc Benioff in a fireside chat: “Life is short. You should spend time working with people you enjoy.”

Marc Hedlund paraphrases the sentiment in Entrepreneur Proverbs: “The older I get, the more I think all that matters is working with people you like.”

10) We become like the five people with whom we spend the most time. Choose wisely.

Tim Ferriss summarizes the mindset: “The belief, if I were to generalize it, is that you are emotionally, physically, financially, or otherwise the average of the five people you spend the most time with.”

Feedback swings both ways. We influence others as much as they influence us. Paulo Coelho says to put it into action: “The world is changed by your example, not by your opinion.”

11) There is no way to happiness. Happiness is the way.

That attitude comes from Thich Nhat Hanh’s affirmation, in which he advises us to be happy right in the here and now.

Although Henry David Thoreau did not say it, the butterfly comparison is apropos:

Happiness is like a butterfly. The more you chase it, the more it will elude you, but if you turn your attention to other things, it will come and sit softly on your shoulder.

Happiness is not about what is happening; it is about mindset. As Hugh Downs said, “A happy person is not a person in a certain set of circumstances, but rather a person with a certain set of attitudes.”

Whoever is happy will make others happy, too. Here’s a summary of what I learned from writing this post: Success comes from happiness. Happiness comes from meaning. Meaning comes from giving.

12) Lessons are repeated until they are learned.

You will forget all of this. Do not worry.

Business and life repeat these lessons over and over:

Please share what has resonated from this post — and the lessons you have learned about happiness and meaning — in the comments of this post, as well as on LinkedIn, and on Twitter. I’d love to learn more.

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