God, I hate not running!
First things first, I just got back from a run after long weeks of being sick. It was a short, spontaneous run full of snow and smiles. Tiny three kilometers of pure joy and energy.
I am not a runner — or at least not a good runner. When I started running 2.5 years ago, it was a pure disaster. I just bought the Asics shoes with the highest discount on the label and went for a first, let’s call it a “try”. After first 20 seconds I was almost sure I will die. It was so difficult to get any air inside my lungs, to keep putting one leg in front of the other. There was only one simple thought in my head: how can anybody do this regularly … and even enjoy it?!
When I am imaging those moments now, I see myself stamping hard on the ground, panting so heavily that I am honestly surprised nobody tried to resuscitate me right there in a park. I was heavy, clumsy and I did not really know what I was doing. I just wanted to start liking running, because, well, it looked like the simplest sport to do regularly, with a lot of health benefits, which I could do for all 4 seasons. But after those first 20 seconds I felt like there will be no more seasons for me, ever :D
But maybe it was not that super-bad. Well, I was still heavy, clumsy and suffocating for air — and imaging myself now, I might have been looking like this:
The important part is: I did not die. And I managed to run almost 4 kilometers! I did not feel good, but I was happy I made it. How could I possibly feel good? I ran 4 kilometers without any technique, pushing it as fast as possible and I am truly scared to even think about my heart rate. It had to be sky-rocketing all the time!
And I did not feel good the next day either. Probably that was a reason why I did not go for an another run for a month! But I could not really return those running shoes I got and I decided to try it again.. and it was terrible. I thought my heart will just jump out of my chest screaming “I’m out of this sh*t!”. And I continued running once or twice a week, doing 4 to 6 kilometers and after a couple of months I felt like “hey, I am not dying anymore!”. Until my first running injury surprised me just a couple of weeks after.
However, that is for an another post. I just wanted to share how I feel about today’s run and how it feels compared to the first runs I had.
And before I post any more stuff here, I would like to warn you: this is not a blog stuffed with tons of motivation slogans, super-worth-it advice or recipes to do running the good way or start loving it for sure.
I might use cliché, get annoying or demotivated. But all of that is a part of the process of me getting not that terrible with running. How I learned how not to hurt myself, how to eat better and eventually enjoy my runs.
Because I really hate not running.
