Dear Gents: Stop

Dear gents: stop being douches.

As I currently write this letter to you of the male persuasion and general audience by choice, I’m sitting with one of my good friends, trying to find the words of comfort for her as she deals with a guy problem. No details necessary, but bottomline is she’s beyond out of it, fighting to concentrate on her school work as this issue has exploded in her face.

And it’s not her fault. It’s the guy’s own doing. Gents, it’s our own doing. And I personally am disgusted by it.

A little you may not know about me: I’m the only son. I have three sisters. My parents are divorced, so I live with my mom. Basically, I’ve been surrounded by girls all my life. And I believe that has made me come to sensitize more with women, more than I think most guys see themselves capable of doing. And I say “see themselves capable of doing” with the purpose of stating that guys should be able to sensitize with women more than what I have observed.

What I’ve observed is that guys can be real dicks. I saw it in the way my dad treated my mom. I saw it when one of my best friends in high school would come to me crying about another guy. I see it in college when I’m at parties and guys drunk out of their minds are literally hounds on the hunt to “ball out” or whatever the hell we call it (it’s always something different).

So when my friend comes to me about what I have seen time and time again, it’s become a point when I don’t wanna just listen to the problem. I want to respond to it.

So dear gentlemen,

I address you as gentlemen because I believe that is what you are capable of being; because that is what you should aspire to be; because that ought to be your inclination in terms of personality. That’s what it ought to be for all guys, but unfortunately, that is not the case.

What do you see when you look at yourselves in the mirror? Do you see a man? Do you see a guy who’s responsible? Do you see a guy who willingly respects a girl and does his very best not to break her heart? If you look yourself in the mirror and don’t see any of these qualities, it’s 100% fair to say that something is very wrong.

We cheat on girls. Play with their feelings. Lie to them. Make them feel bad for our betrayal. Disrespect them. Hunt for them physically and throw them away, leaving them in emotional distress and disarray. We, gents, are guilty of all these wrongdoings.

So I come to you guys with this single heartfelt plea: stop being douches.

Please stop. We think we can play games that are gonna end up hurting girls and get away with it. And maybe some of you can, but how can you possibly feel good about yourselves afterwards? It’s disgusting, it’s hurtful, it’s just wrong. And for your information, most of us cannot and will not get away with our male sins. And we can never be the winners. No matter how many tears a girl can cry from getting cut from their top sorority, girls are strong-willed and bright people, which means two different things: they can bounce back from whatever shit you hand to them, and get ready for utter misery when they get you back. (Not that I’m in support of it, but they are capable of making your lives hell).

Stop, gents. You’re not the shit, you don’t slay, you don’t “get it in” or any of that. You don’t gain from the games with the girls. Whatever sins you’ve committed, it’s your own doing. Recognize that. And as I address you as gentleman, be gentlemen.

And as I read this to myself, I will strive to be a gentleman of my own.

Your fellow male,


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