You know that frustrating moment where you have no idea who you are or what you want to do with your life? I am currently going through that and it is my own personal hell on earth. I am a freshman in college and I am almost finished with my second semester. In my first semester, I was majoring in finance. To be honest I only picked that major because I thought I could be like the Wolf of Wall Street (if you haven’t seen the movie, definitely give it a watch). I realized that I didn’t want to be a stock broker (or whatever people with a finance degree do) because I wouldn’t enjoy it at all. Then I changed my major to education so that I could be an elementary school teacher. Now I’m quickly realizing that I don’t think I’d be happy doing that either. Don’t get me wrong, I love children. I just don’t think I can handle 20+ of those little savages all at once. So here I am, nearing the end of my second semester and I am stuck once again. I’ve reached the point where I’m taking online quizzes to see which major “fits my personality.” Pathetic, right?

Not only that, but I can not find any motivation to do anything. I just want to discover something I am truly passionate about. It’s just so damn difficult. I mean, I love writing but I don’t think I’m good enough to make a career out of it (and here is where my self conscious issues come up). I know prodigies are rare and if you want to be something (i.e. a “good” writer) then you have to work for it. I just have the excruciating problem of being a perfectionist and I genuinely believe it is soon going to result in my brain to explode.

I just don’t get how so many people my age know what they want to do with their lives and can manage to find the motivation to work for it. It just blows my mind. I guess I’m just the epitome of laziness. And I hate that. But I know, I could change that if I wanted to. I simply feel constantly overwhelmed with thoughts and feelings of so many different things and I never know what to work towards. I know right now I’m just babbling (to basically no one because I don’t think anyone reads my blog) but I enjoy it. I definitely like to write. I just wish I was naturally good at it. Don’t get me wrong, I’m pretty talented when it comes to writing poetry… But I want to write a book. Or articles. Ooh, articles… Maybe I could be a journalist. I did write for my high school newspaper a few years ago… SEE WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT??? I jump from one thing to another and in college its not that it is a bad thing to change majors, it can just get expensive on occasion. But I am going to look into journalism and research it a bit to see if that’s what I’m interested in.

In all seriousness though, kudos to those people who are young adults and know what they’re doing with their lives.