“Funmi! Funmi! How many times did I call you? Let me come and meet you on that bed first. You will tell me whether your mates who are in their husband’s houses don’t serve their husbands food at this time of the day. You are still sleeping by this time. As a big man’s daughter or what? Mtcheeeeeeeew". Ever heard someone talk in this tone before? Well, if you say you have heard something similar from an African or Nigerian mother, you certainly are not far from the truth.
What if she finally comes to your bedroom and meets you in bed like she is threatening? It then becomes a different story entirely. She indirectly told you earlier that your mates were already in their husband’s houses. That was not wake up call enough for you. Now she has met you, and you lazily wake in her presence. She obviously continues to rant, until she notices you are not as agile as you used to. She quickly switches her tone to suit the situation; “Funmilayo! Is everything alright?” You then node your head reluctantly in a manner that leaves her completely unconvinced. She still isn’t satisfied with this gesture and presses on; “no oh, this is not how people who are alright behave. Tell me my daughter. What is the matter?” In the same reluctant manner, you reply, saying your head aches slightly. As usual, she charges up; “so just this small headache, you have been sleeping like a sloth since yesterday. What if…
