music is power

It’s eleven,

on a Friday.

And instead being out with the crowds of her peers,

a young girl locks herself in her closet,

with headphones laid over her ears and hopes the music will save her tonight.

Blocking out the pain she believes it drowns out her fears.

Her insecurities;

the laughter that haunts her;

the images ingrained in her brain that she cannot escape,

but none of that matters for three minutes.

Because the next three minutes are very important as the voice on the other end desperately sings to save her.

Maybe it will be enough.

For tonight, there is just music,

and by the end of this song she will be the one who decides to live

or to not.

Staring at a white wall she dreams of a city unknown to all because running away is the answer — for we live in a world that will have us believe that it’s not okay to not be okay.

And we use words without thinking, stigmatizing our flaws:

Stop bleeding,

start eating.

Put the razor down

talk about it and come out of the closet.

AS IF IT WERE THAT EASY.

We suffer silently thinking we have to go through life alone because we convince ourselves that we are not worth it,

or that no one understands what we mean when we say

that we just don’t think we have the strength to make it through another day.

And so we don’t talk about it.

We just carry the weight and then carve in our skin the words that we hate,

but they define us -

is what they tell us.

That we’re all crazy; we must be insane;

it’s all in our mind and to them it’s just a game that we play for attention,

to feel something,

to be noticed or heard

and it’s all so absurd

that they think we can just snap out of it.

As if we have the control to even do that.

They think we can’t be helped because we’re just too far gone,

so just leave us in our hell.

But this is a global issue that affects us all.

It’s not all black and white — just the kids with the hyper colored hair that hide from the light.

And we’re convincing ourselves on the otherside while what we don’t see are the scars on the prettiest girl in the room with a smile that’s been fooling us all,

for years.

And she lies in bed awake at night thinking tomorrow just isn’t worth it.

Why do we do this when we feel so alone that we’re not strong enough to just pick up the phone and call someone?

Anyone.

Because we wonder if anyone really listens.

If all these people and organizations who say they really care really …

at the end of the day…

care.

Do they care?

But if we travel back through the headphones and listen to that song she listens to in the most desperate of moments –

could music be the one who saves her when words fail?

When the medicine won’t kick in and when talking about it is just too damn hard that thinking about it makes you sick to your stomach of the words vomiting out and spilling all of your secrets.

But tonight there is only music.

Maybe that will be enough.

Maybe the song in her head is the right song,

and the lyrics sing what is needed to be heard:

That hope is real.

And that feeling weak doesn’t make you weak because in admitting to that you are actually stronger than everybody else who stays quiet,

SO ADMIT IT.

Music is power.

Music is power.

MUSIC IS POWER.

And we can continue living in a world where we all believe in that separately or we could build a community that, at its very core, believes that music heals people.

But how do we talk about this?

Depression.

Suicide.

Self-injury.

Eating disorders.

Bullying, anxiety, stress,

bipolar are our multiple personalities

and so the list goes on with the words that we are afraid to say aloud or look in the eyes,

because we know they burn so bright.

But this isn’t right.

That we have classrooms of kids where they speak without thinking,

and bullies use cruel words to impact the ones who are already sinking down …

into an abyss.

Where even a soldier falls from the weight of his baggage hidden beneath his armor where he can hold a gun, but can’t shoot the feelings that eat him away while his son tosses and turns alone and awake in his bedroom at night.

But like the girl all alone in her room we can listen to the music that saves us when the rest pulls us under.

And when the pills and conversations we force-feed as a cover up to reality aren’t enough to mask the pain, music is our friend.

Even when they don’t know it, our albums are our bedtime stories that keep us singing along because they don’t want our story to end tonight.

And if we listen closely we can hear that they want their music to be the soundtrack to a life that is Oscar-worthy.

We come alive through music,

and if you believe in this with me then take your hands from your pockets and reach out to the vibrations that fill your blood and bring color to a beating heart that pumps with the kick of a drum,

reminding you that you are alive.

You are alive and this song has saved you.

You are part of the living,

so if we can’t find the words to say what we feel,

then I think what we all need is something a little more creative to move us forward.

We can all contribute to this song we’ll call life.

And if we connect through our headphones we’ll hear that we’re not alone.

You are not alone.

The chorus of our lives keeps us moving forward and when this song begins to fade, we know she lives.

We know she listens.

We know she holds on and lives another day to tell her story so that some day another life will hear those same songs and be moved.

And I know this because I was that girl.

We have all been there at some point and instead of letting our moments of weakness define us, I say we talk about it in stories and in music.

Start a conversation with the man pacing in circles who can’t shake the feeling that all he really wants is to be heard.

For someone to listen.

Tell your story; talk about your problems and don’t be afraid to admit that you are suffering.

And find redemption in the fact that through speaking up,

You’re already in motion.

I am a person who suffers but that doesn’t mean I am incapable of anything.

Or that I am forever broken.

We are not weak, we are human.

So I ask you to listen to your life and when you feel alone, when you feel afraid and can’t find the words to explain how to feel or what to tell your friend who is sitting on your porch breaking down because she just can’t take it…

find the songs in your life that give you hope and let them empower you to be stronger.

And hold on another day so others will do the same because your life is worth living.

Your songs and your story are important

and so is it that you remember that music is power.